Snack Selector Pillows

Diets: Sweets and Biscuits.

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

"A retired superhero's re-purposed utility belt"

'The following program is intended for beer bellied, sports crazed, couch potatoes!'

Little league world series of poker.

Heavy man sees 'Comfort Food' aisle

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

"Trail mix?"

"Wait, those crunchy, cheesy little fish thingies are free?!"

The British Territory of the South Sandwich Islands.

Love is when you watch television together.

"I'm eating baklava through my balaclava!"

'Football...Beer...Popcorn...that is Bernie's Stimulus Package.'

"There are no croutons. I use tater tots on my salad."

'I'm going to try that 'vegan' thing, Joe -- give me some beer nuts.'

"With the prices they charge these days I can't afford to throw a pie or can off beer at the ref."

Psychiatrist says: 'Oh, no! Not another fruit cake?'

"The bagels are better in New York."

"Sometimes, Cheryl, I wonder why you only invite me along to cocktail parties."

'As you're pregnant, I suppose you are eating for two? Or don't you want to cut down that much?'

"Wait, has thou brought snacks?"

Vending machines with junk food: 'Zing!', 'Zoom!' and 'Crash!'

'We have a P-O-P display for our new perfume. Can we move the beef jerky down a smidge?'

'If it's a universal remote, how come it doesn't work on the refrigerator?'

The feeding frenzy has begun, gorging ourselves on bowl after bowl of college football.

'OK, the worn out carpeting proves I snack too much. Only one thing to do. Tomorrow I get prices on hardwood floors.'

Stupid Microwave

'Kudos to Bill for the cotton candy machine idea!'

'Half o' mild and a bag of pork scratchings - you're grooming me, aren't you?'

North Fork, the town too tough to diet.

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