Snack Schemer Gifts

'It works every time! I put extra salt on the peanuts,the punters get thirsty and I sell more beer...!'

Chez Nous Menu

"Tia Carmen, is it okay if my study group meets here tomorrow?"

Little league world series of poker.

'I ran out of sugar, so I used salt.'

To do before Saturday...

"This was a wicked-hard test. I'm pretty sure everybody got a bad grade."

You're next, Mr. Kimble - right after his apple danish.

Jewish Geometry

Janey then realized that babysitting isn't easy...

'Seven layers in one dip? Gentlemen, what have we wrought?'

Jeff's Smorgasbord

Man opens refrigerator which promptly burps.

Pull and all nighter...

"Sir, I have a question that's lunch-related."

"O.K., one last big rhubarb score. But then I'm out of the pie game for good."

"We gotta find a way to increase our Halloween candy."

"The most obvious side-effect of having a chip implanted in my brain is a constant craving for onion dip."

'Jim's blogging his thought for the day. He doesn't have any profound thoughts, he just has one thought per day.'

"I'm in big trouble. The dog ate my homework, and Dad ate my science project."

"Yeah. I'm into fitness. Fittin' dis whole sammich in my mouth."

Randolph maintains a stiff upper lip while the rest of him just goes to hell.

"We know you have better treats than raisins...we hacked your supermarket loyalty card."

'The doctor said my body is 40% fat. These cookies are only 20% fat. That's got to help.'

"It's a setup."

'Can we move the beef jerky a smidge and display our organic cleanser?'

"Guac-A-Mole"

'She's on the rotation diet. Every time I turn around she's eating something.'

"One is a sham bag for my parents to confiscate."

"I can do this all day, marshmallow. I have a bright life ahead of me. You, on the other hand... I'm not so sure."

'I thought you wanted to get more involved with my sports.'