Snack Planner Pillows

"I asked folks to bring whatever they want, so now we have ten tubs of guacamole, no chips, and eight cases of the most obnoxiously flavored hard seltzer."

"Damn it, PB&J again."

'I love our hideaway. I only wish we could find it.'

Chez Nous Menu

'Still not ready to talk? Ok dip him again.'

School Cafeteria. It's the start of the school year. The Geometry teacher will come by to verify that we're serving truly square meals. The grammar teacher says the alphabet soup is runny and needs some punctuation added. History teachers keep a record of all the past meals and so will notice any leftovers being served. And the computer lab staff expressed concern about all the cookies so the astronomy teacher suggested switching to candy for dessert. I'll bet she thinks Starburst and Milk

'My diet's good...I'm two weeks ahead of schedule.'

'Like death by salad.'

"Tia Carmen, is it okay if my study group meets here tomorrow?"

Little league world series of poker.

"Any of you guys feel like hot dogs?"

"This was a wicked-hard test. I'm pretty sure everybody got a bad grade."

"Mom, does the Russian borscht you made for dinner give me foreign-policy experience?"

To do before Saturday...

"Isn't it great to get out of the kitchen and cook in the fresh air!"

Barbecued dessert, anyone? The coals are PERFECT now!

Fishing for complements

'Men order. . . women shop.'

Kiddies Menu for Witches

'Eight wiener dogs, and six rolls. It's just not right.'

You're next, Mr. Kimble - right after his apple danish.

'Seven layers in one dip? Gentlemen, what have we wrought?'

Prosecco Peacock

"Ok, ok, we'll travel back to dinnertime one more time, but then it's my turn to choose."

Man opens refrigerator which promptly burps.

Jeff's Smorgasbord

"I'm very health conscious. I only eat animals that are vegetarians"

"I hope you're not using any of the canned food I so diligently stockpiled.

Remarkably Richmond

When I said, "Let the good times roll," I didn't mean to let go of the keg.

The family picnic is at 5. Would you please boil the eggs, Twig? And Teddy? Go clean out the cooler! Oh! Grab the badminton set, too. Stop. Your little cousins will need entertaining! Leave it to mom � To take the independence out of Independence Day.

Shopper in grocery store sees TV dinners marked daytime and prime time.

"I'm sorry, I didn't pack it, but I'm guessing you can find a stick."

Champagne

'Mustard, ketchup and mayo are all nice and creamy smooth. Why isn't anything being done about relish?'