Smoky Stylist T-Shirts

The Texas Chainsmoker's Mascara.

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

Bad hair day!

People in the mirror may be more attractive than they appear.

'How many studio apartment construction projects did you say you'd worked on before?'

Pashminas are sooo noughties!

Beauty is in the eye of the manipulator.

"Oh to be young and in love and wear things cut on the bias."

"Don't shave it. It gives your face character."

The Stat-shoe of Liberty.

"I can never get my sunglasses on my head the way my hairdresser does"

Pampered and poodled.

'These fit just right. Do you have anything too tight?'

Shoe addict.

"I don't like your application."

The Young Ladies' Young Gentleman

My Bangs: A Play in 5 Acts

'Trust me, it's very proper to mix stripes.'

"Amazing! It's the season of me!"

"A naked dress is perfect when you have nothing to wear."

Dolores is so avant garde.

"Who's a pretty girl now?"

'I know I don't look like a matinee idol of yesteryear anymore, but neither do they!'

"Perhaps a cozy scarf to go with the hat?"

"It's a nice halo and all, but I'm not sure it matches my outfit."

"I'm not trying to be beautiful, I'm only trying to look better than everyone else there."

"Next time you meet me dressed as a giant boy, it's going to cost you a pair of diamond earrings."

All it takes is a little willpower and a good metabolism...

'I think there's been some mistake...'

"How come in these days of downsizing and lower expectations, all these sneakers come with ridiculously long laces?"

"Would the gentleman care for a razor and comb to start?"

Half-Price Haircut and Half-Cut Price Hair.

'Which fashion magazine do you recommend?'

Cinderella insisted on always having glass slippers - even into old age...