Smoking Realist Gifts

The cost of smoking.

Road Forks in the Road: No Way and Yes Way.

'They help with my nicotine patch addiction.'

"What do you mean 'sitting is the new smoking'? I thought fat was the new smoking?"

"Son, the world is full of disappointments. About 7.7 billion of them."

"It's a Wonderful Life" if it was written by scientists.

"You will bargain away what little integrity you have left for what little job security you can gain."

Professional woman in pub

City Bar and Grill - "Stop worrying, youth and enthusiasm can't compete with experience and treachery."

Woman talking romantically whilst man talks about measuring the scullery.

"Could you spare some change for a guy fresh off welfare?"

"Have you ever given any thought to what you're going to do after all your hopes and dreams are crushed?"

Platitudes for the hopelessly realistic. When life gives you lemons, get a gift receipt.

Pollution Look

"Just sitting here widening. You?"

"I see, Mr. Pipkins, we're back on the bourbon and smoking through glazed doughnuts."

"I see fleeting moments of happiness in between extended periods of boredom and stress."

'So OK. . . I should quit smoking, but I scratched that off my bucket list years ago!'

Warning Being Alive On This Planet May Cause Cancer

"Love it! 'People of smoke' instead of 'Smokers.' "

Proverbs for Real Life. When one door closes it's probably locked and your key is on the other side.

"I suppose you heard about the crazy smoker who wound in a menthol hospital?"

'When did the world get into such a big hurry?'

"It's no good, Martin, it's still in the room."

Success Without Effort

"You can be anything!". . . "Take whatever you can get."

'Love gets the credit, but money makes the world go 'round.'

Warning.

"That's Terri and Kip. . . our Imaginators. And over here is Al. He's our Get-real-inator."

'They tried to make me go to rehab, but I said no no no.'

"When people talk about a 'staycation' this isn't what they mean!"

The new normal.

'Isn't it bad for you?...no I haven't managed to light one yet!'

"Old MacDonald had a farm"

"As a Senior Citizen applying for this job, where do YOU see yourself in 5 years?"