Smoking Adversary Gifts

'You've been at Malcolm's again, haven't you - you know I hate tertiary smoking!'

'They help with my nicotine patch addiction.'

"What do you mean 'sitting is the new smoking'? I thought fat was the new smoking?"

'It's a nicotine patch...I've been smoking too much.'

Professional woman in pub

Welcome to Hell - No Smoking

Pollution Look

"The other reindeer sent me back to the smoking section."

"I could easily change to a healthier lifestyle, but then I'd live longer and be a burden on my loved ones in my old age."

'You are talking about health? Ha! My cig does not have calories, fat, cholesterol, carbohydrates and sugar!'

'I haven't had the urge for a cigarette for two days. How's the patch working for you?'

'So OK. . . I should quit smoking, but I scratched that off my bucket list years ago!'

"Love it! 'People of smoke' instead of 'Smokers.' "

"I suppose you heard about the crazy smoker who wound in a menthol hospital?"

Give up Smoking!

'We don't get many takers for the smoking section anymore.'

Nature is not perfect

'...And maybe they know something about passive smoking you don't.'

'There's something about being locked up with a 500lb gorilla, highly allergic to cigarette smoke, that works every time.'

"Bye! good luck with the 'stop smoking 'campaign!"

'My doctor's fit note suggested a phased return to work. I'll see you for another smoking break tomorrow.'

Sergei Rachmaninov

"You must cut down on your smoking."

Man offers coffee with smoke.

The trouble with trying to quit smoking.

'Not only is smoking permitted, we insist on it!'

'Finally I can enjoy a smoke without this constant fear that some day it'll kill me!' (smoking in heaven)

'He knew he was hyte when his last locofoco seemed gynecoid.'

"It's for you."

'You know, I wouldn't mind all this fiber if I could smoke it.'

No Smoking.

No Smoking Building.

"I'm afraid we don't allow smoking in here sir. We consider it unhygenic."

"Excuse me, is this a smoking area?"

'Hey, pal - got a light?'