Smoking Adversary Gifts

'You've been at Malcolm's again, haven't you - you know I hate tertiary smoking!'

"What do you mean 'sitting is the new smoking'? I thought fat was the new smoking?"

'They help with my nicotine patch addiction.'

'It's a nicotine patch...I've been smoking too much.'

Professional woman in pub

'You are talking about health? Ha! My cig does not have calories, fat, cholesterol, carbohydrates and sugar!'

"I could easily change to a healthier lifestyle, but then I'd live longer and be a burden on my loved ones in my old age."

Pollution Look

"The other reindeer sent me back to the smoking section."

'I haven't had the urge for a cigarette for two days. How's the patch working for you?'

Welcome to Hell - No Smoking

'So OK. . . I should quit smoking, but I scratched that off my bucket list years ago!'

"Love it! 'People of smoke' instead of 'Smokers.' "

Give up Smoking!

'We don't get many takers for the smoking section anymore.'

'There's something about being locked up with a 500lb gorilla, highly allergic to cigarette smoke, that works every time.'

"Bye! good luck with the 'stop smoking 'campaign!"

'...And maybe they know something about passive smoking you don't.'

Nature is not perfect

"I suppose you heard about the crazy smoker who wound in a menthol hospital?"

'My doctor's fit note suggested a phased return to work. I'll see you for another smoking break tomorrow.'

"You must cut down on your smoking."

Sergei Rachmaninov

Man offers coffee with smoke.

The trouble with trying to quit smoking.

'Finally I can enjoy a smoke without this constant fear that some day it'll kill me!' (smoking in heaven)

'He knew he was hyte when his last locofoco seemed gynecoid.'

'Not only is smoking permitted, we insist on it!'

"It's for you."

'You know, I wouldn't mind all this fiber if I could smoke it.'

No Smoking.

Man going out for a cigarette from a lighthouse.

No Smoking Building.

"I'm afraid we don't allow smoking in here sir. We consider it unhygenic."

"Excuse me, is this a smoking area?"