Smoke Savants Gifts

"You'll be late for work, hurry up and smoke your breakfast!"

On August 14, 2011 at app. 2:00 p, Derek Winslow made scientific history by converting an item of the animal kingdom into an item of the plant kingdom.

Every barbecue has its winners and losers.

"Don't tell me... you hired a professional decorator!"

Pipe Smoker of the Year Awards.

'I'm an atheist!'

Merry Christmas.

'I hate having to go outside for a cigarette!'

"Hickory smoke—that's what gives it that hearty Western flavor."

"I can really taste my food since giving up smoking, so I've started again."

"Gosh! Look what he's done to his Harry Potter books..."

When the traditional and contemporary services overlap.

"The other reindeer sent me back to the smoking section."

"What?!"

"Remember, son, you can be anything you want to be...except for maybe an aroma therapist."

'A lab had me smoking cigarettes for months. I'm living off my disability payments. You?'

"I could easily change to a healthier lifestyle, but then I'd live longer and be a burden on my loved ones in my old age."

Remote control car breakdown.

"Fire, bad. Smoke, good... quite the conundrum."

'Smells good. What is it?'

"So it's agreed then. From now on we're to do our hourse trading in partially smoke-filled rooms."

Vaping cigarette

'I don't mind him smoking in bed. . .But not herrings.'

'No smoking near the building Higgins!'

The Farmer's Return.

"Mr Hudson, could you kindly refrain from smoking in the brain scan machine."

'We don't get many takers for the smoking section anymore.'

Nature is not perfect

'My doctor's fit note suggested a phased return to work. I'll see you for another smoking break tomorrow.'

"Bob sacrifices the first burger to the barbecue gods."

"You must cut down on your smoking."

Sergei Rachmaninov

"Zumting has caused dis great trauma...any idea vhat?" "Well...we were at a red light watching the guy in the car next to us eat French fries...then...alll of a sudden, she looked right at him and he...he...lit a cigarette."

"It's for you."

'Excuse me, would you like a 'pre-coital cigarette'?'