Smoke Ring Champion T-Shirts

'I wasn't supposed to stay, but then I got hooked on these things.'

Of pitting his own wits against their natural cunning

Pipe Smoker of the Year Awards.

'Do you want us to wait till the meat is completely burned or can we call the pizza service right now?'

'You are talking about health? Ha! My cig does not have calories, fat, cholesterol, carbohydrates and sugar!'

'I'm so proud of you sweetie, you haven't smoked for a week!'

Alpine Pipe

Thanks to hypnosis, he quit smoking cold-turkey. Everyone seemed real supportive until he came strutting into work, half-naked, gobbling incoherently.

George can overreact when people criticise his barbecues.

Talking about smoking to a therapist who is a smoker.

The Grim Rapper

Dog show success

"Well, I guess that settles that."

How the Magic Dragon got the Knickname 'Puff'.

Peace pipe or non?

'Do you think we should tell him that it takes more than a Churchillian cigar to make him inspirational'

"It's Ok, I'm not working!!"

Global Warming

Scientist chides lab dogs for smoking.

Will the last person to quit smoking please empty the ashtray!

One Novel Pony

'Strong bit of cheese that.'

Vicar blowing smoke halo.

'Three hearts.'

'Now, cut that out!'

'Now remember - one of those cigarettes in the pack contains the cyanide capsule.'

'Smoking is dangerous, you know.'

'It took her three months to quit smoking and five years to quit talking about quitting.'

'Yeah. . . but it really helped me quit smoking.'

"Before you put on a nicotine patch you need to take off the old one."

'This is fun, Dad -- I'm in a flame war with Vladimir Putin!'

No Smoking/second hand smoke kills.

"Look, fella—can't you see this is an executive smokers' group?"

"God I miss the good old days when you could huff and puff anywhere you damn well pleased."

"I understand your machine makes O-rings."