Smoke-free Superhero Gifts

'We cured your cigarette addiction, but you now need treatment for nicotine patch addiction.'

...And he calls himself the 'Green' Giant...

North Pole

'We're here to carbon date your company's carbon footprint.'

Politically Correct Snowperson

"Smokey The Tree"

'Swimming is the healthiest sport. . . Because it's the only one where you can't smoke while you're doing it.'

'Do you ever think about how we can reduce our global footprint?'

"Welcome to Sugar Free Farm! The reality show, where celebs go cold turkey on their sugar addictions for two weeks."

"The tuna is endangered, the lettuce was recalled and the tomatoes were hit by a drought. I can give you mayo on a roll."

'I trust this is a non-smoking uterus!'

"Plastic straws. No fish were spared in the making of this product."

"I'm guessing you're a germaphobe?"

"Smoking or nonsmoking?"

Days without an incident.

'You're going to have to stop smoking, drink less, change your eating habits and start taking regular exercise.' 'This seems awfy one-sided, Doctor.'

"Right it's decided! We are both sober for October and Stoptober. Then Movember and Decembeard and Dry January, then..."

'I don't like being a crash dummy either but there are some jobs humans won't do.'

Insurance company agreeing workers' compensation policy in a demolition company.

"Tomorrow, we'll take on the tobacco industry."

'Now I understand why people want to give them up.'

Thanks to hypnosis, he quit smoking cold-turkey. Everyone seemed real supportive until he came strutting into work, half-naked, gobbling incoherently.

"Me, I became an outdoor cat when her new boyfriend moved in: he smokes in the house..."

'Oi! '

'There's more to life than winning. There's also testing negative for steroids.'

Rudolph goes green (with his new compact fluorescent nose)

"I'd never have imagined such innovative ways of wearing this cape!"

'If you want to smoke, you'll have to go outside.'

'I'm just so worried about mercury in the water and sulfur dioxide in the air.'

Smoking Cessation Clinic - Formerly The Pub.

'Smoke free buildings' chase man with cigarette

'Hi John, it's your partner, Peter. I've decided to have a non-smokers day off - it should just make up for all the cigarette breaks you've taken in the last month!'

Office Smoking Conflict

IPCC Climate Report