Smoke Detective T-Shirts

Fire at the Bisto Factory

A family at the dinner table

Passenger on a train blaming a clerical man for smoking

'I'm not sure you're being entirely truthful about having given up smoking.'

"Dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, onion bagel with Nutella and cream cheese, dirt, dirt, dirt..."

"You know why they make these straws so big? It's a scam to make you drink fast so you can finish quicker and order more."

'That strange smell, George.. is FRESH AIR!'

Man in office, desk covered in computer equipment, uses floor for photos, desk pads etc.

"Good news. It wasn't a toxic chemical leak. It was an old pizza in your kid's room."

'Is that the smell of fear? Or is it just Meatloaf Monday in the cafeteria?'

'I think I've found what's been causing my funny buzzing sounds.'

"Miss Jenkins, e-mail the housekeeper. Her telecommuting days are over"

Jean, bring me everything we've got on gravity.

'Miscellaneous' and 'Non-Miscellaneous' trays

Woman disposes of partner's squash kit in hazardous waste container.

'It's nice to meet you Otto. Your scent precedes you.'

"Time! Ladies and gentlemen please, for yet another probe into the brewing industry"

"We need to talk about procrastination."

"Uh-oh,...she smells another dog in my portfolio..."

'How can we be so sure it's a fake, gentlemen - she isn't smiling!'

"I ask you, how can something so cute and soft smell like a bag of Fritos?"

Barristers wearing clothes pegs to overcome a bad smell

'I say we back off: I can't smell fear at all...'

'I'd like a second opinion. Something about this guy just doesn't smell right.'

"I keep hearing this annoying buzzing noise!"

'...And maybe they know something about passive smoking you don't.'

"I noticed he had punched air holes in his desk. Now I'm afraid to open it."

'No, it's not the Rapture - The kids next door got a trampoline.'

The Sleep of Reason Produces Bureaucracy

"Is that Penny I smell? It's been so long... Hold on, is this Dougie? No way! That crazy mongrel, he is nuts! I remember that time he chased those kids on skateboards all the way down Cliff Street. Wait, is this Rosie?!"

"Don't let the organized desk fool you. I have no idea where my computer files are."

"From the gentleman at the end of the bar."

"OK...not taking a shower is not an option for teenage boys!"

"You can use Dave's cubicle. He has Seasonal Affective Disorder and won't be using it this winter. Whoa! I guess I'm wrong. There he is, hibernating under the desk!"

'You don't even know you're doing it, do you?'