Smoke Detective T-Shirts

Fire at the Bisto Factory

A family at the dinner table

Passenger on a train blaming a clerical man for smoking

'I'm not sure you're being entirely truthful about having given up smoking.'

What did I tell you about covering your bottom when you sneeze?

"Dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, onion bagel with Nutella and cream cheese, dirt, dirt, dirt..."

"You know why they make these straws so big? It's a scam to make you drink fast so you can finish quicker and order more."

'That strange smell, George.. is FRESH AIR!'

"Good news. It wasn't a toxic chemical leak. It was an old pizza in your kid's room."

Man in office, desk covered in computer equipment, uses floor for photos, desk pads etc.

'Is that the smell of fear? Or is it just Meatloaf Monday in the cafeteria?'

'I think I've found what's been causing my funny buzzing sounds.'

"Miss Jenkins, e-mail the housekeeper. Her telecommuting days are over"

Jean, bring me everything we've got on gravity.

"Time! Ladies and gentlemen please, for yet another probe into the brewing industry"

'Miscellaneous' and 'Non-Miscellaneous' trays

'It's nice to meet you Otto. Your scent precedes you.'

Woman disposes of partner's squash kit in hazardous waste container.

Barristers wearing clothes pegs to overcome a bad smell

'How can we be so sure it's a fake, gentlemen - she isn't smiling!'

"We need to talk about procrastination."

"I ask you, how can something so cute and soft smell like a bag of Fritos?"

'I say we back off: I can't smell fear at all...'

"Uh-oh,...she smells another dog in my portfolio..."

'I'd like a second opinion. Something about this guy just doesn't smell right.'

"I keep hearing this annoying buzzing noise!"

'...And maybe they know something about passive smoking you don't.'

"Is that Penny I smell? It's been so long... Hold on, is this Dougie? No way! That crazy mongrel, he is nuts! I remember that time he chased those kids on skateboards all the way down Cliff Street. Wait, is this Rosie?!"

'No, it's not the Rapture - The kids next door got a trampoline.'

"I noticed he had punched air holes in his desk. Now I'm afraid to open it."

The Sleep of Reason Produces Bureaucracy

"Don't let the organized desk fool you. I have no idea where my computer files are."

"You can use Dave's cubicle. He has Seasonal Affective Disorder and won't be using it this winter. Whoa! I guess I'm wrong. There he is, hibernating under the desk!"

"From the gentleman at the end of the bar."

"OK...not taking a shower is not an option for teenage boys!"