Smoke Break Escapist Gifts

Having a sneaky cigarette is more exiting than a suicide attempt

'I love our hideaway. I only wish we could find it.'

Woman dreaming about being on vacation.

Ice fisher.

A tourist watches a television on the back of a donkey

Crowded Ice Fishing

He can lean back in contentment on cowslip banks and let everything wash over him.

Fish swimming by fishermen's feet - 'This looks like a safe place.'

"Let's go back to our cabana, get into bed and shop online."

"I think I see a miscreant in the carpark. There's no time to call the police I must deal with it myself."

"To think—this meeting, which turned into the perfect day, filled with spontaneous adventures that will become priceless memories, could have been an e-mail."

"We should have done more to bring all the things we were trying to get away from."

Man fishing while aliens invade.

"So why do I feel like we're being watched?"

'You said you were going to put gas in the RV, and then come right back. You've been gone for a year. Care to explain?'

Blowing up the camping mattress.

'Now don't forget, polar bears can be sneaky buggers.'

"But honey, I've spent my last 30 years pretending to look busy. I can't quit overnight."

Contestants defeated in the ring toss competition head back to the hotel to recharge for a late night nude hot tub partying and 'bootie shakin' erotic cage fetish dancing.

'You expect me to play with educational toys during SUMMER VACATION?'

'Come back and get me about noon.'

'Since he stopped smoking, he doesn't know what to do with his mouth.'

The Wet Fly Man is a more active creature.

'I loved the great outdoors too, however in 2006, I got hooked on tranquilizer darts and here I am!'

'There's something about being locked up with a 500lb gorilla, highly allergic to cigarette smoke, that works every time.'

"He went that-a-way." (snail escapes).

Man opens front door to find he's up in clouds.

Man skis through Tree.

"I hate crowded parks!"

Will Make You Sick So You Can Go Home.

Message in a bottle.

'He doesn't like to catch anything - He just fishes for the exercise!'

heavy plant crossing

Guilty Northern Pleasures.

"It's great to finally be away from the city!"