Smoke Break Escapist Gifts

Having a sneaky cigarette is more exiting than a suicide attempt

Woman dreaming about being on vacation.

'I love our hideaway. I only wish we could find it.'

Ice fisher.

He can lean back in contentment on cowslip banks and let everything wash over him.

A tourist watches a television on the back of a donkey

Crowded Ice Fishing

Fish swimming by fishermen's feet - 'This looks like a safe place.'

"We should have done more to bring all the things we were trying to get away from."

Man fishing while aliens invade.

"I think I see a miscreant in the carpark. There's no time to call the police I must deal with it myself."

"Let's go back to our cabana, get into bed and shop online."

"To think—this meeting, which turned into the perfect day, filled with spontaneous adventures that will become priceless memories, could have been an e-mail."

'You said you were going to put gas in the RV, and then come right back. You've been gone for a year. Care to explain?'

Blowing up the camping mattress.

"But honey, I've spent my last 30 years pretending to look busy. I can't quit overnight."

Contestants defeated in the ring toss competition head back to the hotel to recharge for a late night nude hot tub partying and 'bootie shakin' erotic cage fetish dancing.

'Now don't forget, polar bears can be sneaky buggers.'

'You expect me to play with educational toys during SUMMER VACATION?'

'Since he stopped smoking, he doesn't know what to do with his mouth.'

'Come back and get me about noon.'

The Wet Fly Man is a more active creature.

"He went that-a-way." (snail escapes).

'I loved the great outdoors too, however in 2006, I got hooked on tranquilizer darts and here I am!'

'There's something about being locked up with a 500lb gorilla, highly allergic to cigarette smoke, that works every time.'

Man opens front door to find he's up in clouds.

"I hate crowded parks!"

Will Make You Sick So You Can Go Home.

Winter olympics.

Message in a bottle.

'He doesn't like to catch anything - He just fishes for the exercise!'

heavy plant crossing

"Hold it, there's someone on my other island!"

'If you keep running away, son, you'll never make it through your formative years.'