Smoke Break Aficionado Gifts

'I'm going back in for some fresh air.'

'I'm an atheist!'

Pipe Smoker of the Year Awards.

Smoking Area. Oh, I don't smoke. I'm just addicted to ten-minute breaks.

'Thank God it's Friday', thought the watercooler.

"Hickory smoke—that's what gives it that hearty Western flavor."

"I think I see a miscreant in the carpark. There's no time to call the police I must deal with it myself."

The discoverer of fire meets the discoverer of marijuana

'I started as an office boy and growled my way to the top.'

Merry Christmas.

"I can really taste my food since giving up smoking, so I've started again."

"Gosh! Look what he's done to his Harry Potter books..."

Portrait of Shakespeare smoking.

José Saramago

'A lab had me smoking cigarettes for months. I'm living off my disability payments. You?'

"I could easily change to a healthier lifestyle, but then I'd live longer and be a burden on my loved ones in my old age."

"The other reindeer sent me back to the smoking section."

Remote control car breakdown.

With one badly timed dunk teabreak was ruined.

'Since he stopped smoking, he doesn't know what to do with his mouth.'

"So it's agreed then. From now on we're to do our hourse trading in partially smoke-filled rooms."

Vaping cigarette

The Farmer's Return.

'Forget about going to the store for a bicycle patch. I used one of your nicotine patches.'

'These new ideas are silly, Father, the boiled tobacco tasted awful and you've spent an age trying to light that potato.'

Mashed potatoes...

Albert Camus

Nature is not perfect

'I don't mind him smoking in bed. . .But not herrings.'

'We don't get many takers for the smoking section anymore.'

"Mr Hudson, could you kindly refrain from smoking in the brain scan machine."

'No I haven't got a light, shove off!'

'My doctor's fit note suggested a phased return to work. I'll see you for another smoking break tomorrow.'

Lab Rat Rehab...

'Fred, everybody is here!'