Smoking Escapologist Gifts

No Smoking

"This was a wicked-hard test. I'm pretty sure everybody got a bad grade."

You're next, Mr. Kimble - right after his apple danish.

"Sorry, but there aren't enough life jackets to go around."

"I've just about had it with these corporate retreats!"

'Miss Fenwick - I don't want to see anyone today!'

'I'm not very good at mingling.'

Man at Fire Escape sees door with 'Hot Button Issues Escape',

worker sign: weeks to retirement changable 2078,

'What's our stockbroker doing in the shower? Quick! Run and get me a rolled up copy of the Wall Street Journal!'

"I've never been this excited about an anal probe before!"

"Don't be afraid – it's just your office,"

"I told you they had a tough interview process here."

'For the life of me I can't see how cooking over a fire, bathing under a spigot and sleeping on the ground can be fun!'

'Good, I was hoping to catch you before you left.'

"I am afraid Mr. Jones is in his career coaching session. Can I get him to call you back?"

How will this impact me?

"IF you wanted to leave, why didn't you just say so?"

"If my husband finds out about us. . .listen, we must cover our tracks so well that no one believes that dinosaurs and humans existed at the same time!"

"Hi! I am on the rails!"

Houdini 2019

"Your blind dates is at the bar - I'll upgrade you to a table by the getaway door."

'Occasionally, one will escape its cubicle, which is why I have all my employees get an identification tattoo on the inside of their ears.'

'Wait for me!'

Danny always had trouble with math. (written on board: Ohio is the capital of Wisconsin.'

"This biography of Harry Houdini has binding on all four sides!"

"I'm un-retiring today. Spending time with my family with hell."

Tortured by music

'Jane It used to be jungle out there'

"If you need something stronger we can bring out the defibrillator."

'Sir! Elsworth's away from his desk again!'

"Another tiny victory in my never-ending quest for fun."

'Survived the audit'

"Are you sure the Russians didn't hack my answers to make me look bad?"

'I worked so hard to get into debt, I don't have the energy to work my way out of it.'