Smoke-and-splash Aficionado Gifts

'Bernie. You better have my ashtray by the time I get there!'

Cocktails on the verandah.

On holiday.

'No ice.'

Cat Nip.

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

'No standing while room is in motion.'

Pina Coladas

We'll have Manhattans...

"I think I speak for my entire generation when I say, 'Yes, I will have another drink.' "

Bar snacks served in bird-feeders.

Balancing two espresso martinis

"An everything Martini, please."

You're the botanicals in my gin

"She'll have a Shirley Temple, and I'll have a Shirley Temple's mother."

"Damn those dugout Martinis!"

Shaken not stirred

In case of emergency, break glass.

"From right to left, you have your tekkamaki, your futomaki, and then your yamaimo roll. The little pile of pink stuff is ginger, the green one's wasabi. And, of course, you already recognize your vodka martini."

Margarita

"I don't know anything about art, but this is a damned good Martini."

"I love these off-site business meetings."

Espresso Martini Peacock

'White smoke means she decided what to cook. Black smoke means it's done.'

Woman at spa having bath in a Martini cocktail glass.

Adam and Eve toast next to a serpent bartender.

"You know what they say, time flies when you're having rum!"

"Well, what are you doing after the millennium?"

'Fried chickens.'

"I believe you'll like our company. We pay our employees time and a fifth."

"Another round of banana daiquiris for the lovely lady and I, please!"

Baloneystini

'Is this a party, a cheese and wine do, a cocktail party, a soiree or just another of your old cronies get-togethers?'

Prawn Cocktail Please

The Martini is invented.