Smoke-and-splash Aficionado T-Shirts

'Bernie. You better have my ashtray by the time I get there!'

Cocktails on the verandah.

On holiday.

'No ice.'

Cat Nip.

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

'No standing while room is in motion.'

We'll have Manhattans...

Pina Coladas

"I think I speak for my entire generation when I say, 'Yes, I will have another drink.' "

Shaken not stirred

Balancing two espresso martinis

"An everything Martini, please."

Bar snacks served in bird-feeders.

You're the botanicals in my gin

"Damn those dugout Martinis!"

"She'll have a Shirley Temple, and I'll have a Shirley Temple's mother."

In case of emergency, break glass.

"From right to left, you have your tekkamaki, your futomaki, and then your yamaimo roll. The little pile of pink stuff is ginger, the green one's wasabi. And, of course, you already recognize your vodka martini."

Margarita

"I love these off-site business meetings."

Espresso Martini Peacock

I'm freshwater. Make it a margarita without salt.

"I don't know anything about art, but this is a damned good Martini."

'White smoke means she decided what to cook. Black smoke means it's done.'

Woman at spa having bath in a Martini cocktail glass.

Adam and Eve toast next to a serpent bartender.

"You know what they say, time flies when you're having rum!"

Cocktail glasses swimming in the sea.

"I believe you'll like our company. We pay our employees time and a fifth."

'Is this a party, a cheese and wine do, a cocktail party, a soiree or just another of your old cronies get-togethers?'

Baloneystini

"If it's my pride, I'm not here"

'Fried chickens.'

'You deserve some unabashed fun once in a while.'