Smarty About Seniors Pillows

"Apparently, 60 is the new dead."

Albert Einstein

Smart Ass - Wise Ass

"She fell down stairs again, so this is her third hip."

Miss America IQ Pageant

'I'd like to challenge the test.'

"Hey. Whatever happened to our sexual relations? "

"Being the smartest girl in third grade is going to Melinda's head."

"I said remember those extra years we added to our lives by good clean livin'?"

"According to my calculations...school starts in exactly 20 days!"

Lilly was too far from the phone to complain about her new stairlift.

Road rage on a mobility scooter.

"I get it! I get it! Elephants never forget. Now quit bragging about it!"

'Everyone's using your theorem, Pythagoras. I told you you should have patented it.'

City Centre Development - "...We've spent all the money on the model."

"OMG! I thought everyone knew that E=MC2."

MENSER the high IQ society

"At my age, your legs and bowels begin to go."

Pensioner's Romance

"I'm thinking of letting my bangs grow out."

"What say we shake things up a bit, and go in and ask for a couple of home-pregnancy test kits."

"America's Funniest Colonoscopy Videos."

How does it feel to always be the smartest guy in the room, Dr. Kapuchnik? Usually, it feels pretty good. In this particular case, it feels like I'm cheating.

"Don't let old age get you down. It's too difficult to get up again."

Old Golfers never die...only those who get in their buggies way!

Pension in race with tortoise and snail.

"Meanwhile, in the Memory Care Unit... I said, your secret’s safe with me."

"Last one to the top's a geriatric."

Life begins at 60

'I'm at an age where my back 'goes out' more than I do!'

'Pardon me. Can you tell me where 9 West 57th is?'

'I feel just like a newborn baby. . . Yes, no hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.'

"He thinks he's so smart with his 360 degrees!"

'Your breathing test results would be normal ... if you were 3'8' and 150 years old.'

"I'm afraid a hearing aid will make me look old."