Sassy Seniors Pillows

Ask Sadie. Dear Sadie, Most people mellow with age. So what's your problem? -Baldwood. *(Actual reader letter) Ask Sadie at rudy@rudypark.com. I'll handle this one. She has mellowed. You

"...and make sure you get food with plenty of preservatives in it"

'As a matter of fact, I have the heart of a 30-year-old woman.'

"Sometimes I wish I could just jump into the dryer and come out wrinkle-free!"

"Bad news. Your use-by date was a month ago."

Four bites a second is about as fast as anyone can chew.

'We all shrink as we get older... You'll just have to be a little patient!'

'You're so nice and friendly that I've got nothing to moan about. That's a bit of cheek!'

'...makes a change from the zimmer frames!'

"Remember when we were young and could finish a round without one of us having to run off to mark his territory?"

To make taking their daily array of medicines more fun, many seniors are using the new Pill-A-Pult.

I'm Aging Gracefully...so SHUT UP!!!

Man about lady in rocking chair with roll bars: 'Never too old to rock and roll.'

Medical Bling: "Help!" on a rope, Important info, O2 4U, Snazzy 3-prong

'Didn't anyone tell you this is an old people's home?'

'They might look sexy and seductive but all I want to do is the crossword.'

"I'm afraid a hearing aid will make me look old."

"You know you have a weak heart, mom. Sit down on your favorite rocking chair and just it easy."

At the Old Bikers' Home

"Miss. Did you ever actually meet Julius Caesar?"

'The last time he jogged past the cemetery, the gravediggers tried to bury him'

The Next Product For Boomers: Designer Adult Diapers.

Florida Wildlife Today's Featured Species is the Old Goat

"The wild walker"

'Me retire? Never!!!'

Old Golfers never die...only those who get in their buggies way!

"We would have helped you up sooner but we thought you were one of those fancy sideways racing bikes."

Senior Pick-Up Lines

'I told you not to lean on the door Ronald!'

Lift chair fun!

Pensioner being chased up stair lift by pensioners.

"It's mostly my medications and adjustable mattress."

'There's no ice so I dropped my teeth in it.'

"I'm liver spot spice."

"Welcome to my third annual Senior Soak-A-Palooza!"