Stylish Senior Pillows

'They might look sexy and seductive but all I want to do is the crossword.'

Four bites a second is about as fast as anyone can chew.

Medical Bling: "Help!" on a rope, Important info, O2 4U, Snazzy 3-prong

Seniors Snooker Tournament.

"Went with the hair plugs I see."

"Bad news. Your use-by date was a month ago."

Rock on Grandma!

'Everyone here likes a big band, right?'

"Remember when we were young and could finish a round without one of us having to run off to mark his territory?"

Man about lady in rocking chair with roll bars: 'Never too old to rock and roll.'

Computer Jobs

Sunshine Retirement Villa: Pool, Golf, Tennis and Financial Planner.

"My son took away my license." "Too many hit and runs." "Too many birthdays?"

"I'm afraid a hearing aid will make me look old."

'Like most fund managers, I consistently under-perform the market--but I do it with real flair.'

The Next Product For Boomers: Designer Adult Diapers.

'Hot dang! Ethel, check out Raymond's new twenty-twos!'

Florida Wildlife Today's Featured Species is the Old Goat

"Dude has got his s**t together!"

Over 60's night - "You have beautiful teeth. What do you soak them in?"

'Me retire? Never!!!'

"Look at those drunken losers, that'll be us in twenty years."

"The worrying thing is, I'm exactly the same age as Tina Turner."

Senior Conversation Staters

Senior Pick-Up Lines

Lift chair fun!

Pensioner being chased up stair lift by pensioners.

"I took a viagra before going to the senior citizen's dance, last night, and I couldn't get anyone to come to my place. So there I stood, all dressed up and no place to go!"

"Everyone showed up to celebrate, except for your pension plan sponsor."

"...and make sure you get food with plenty of preservatives in it"

"It's mostly my medications and adjustable mattress."

"I'm enjoying retirement, except for the spending more time with my family part."

"Walter is more into Hip-Op these days."

"Boomerlennial."

'My social life has really picked up lately, with all these health clinic visits.'