Smart Home Advocate Pillows

"Artificial intelligence has gone too far. The refrigerator just texted that the dishwasher is talking behind my back."

'With all these mega mergers between electronics and telecommunications firms, I just got an obscene email from the toaster...'

"That smart pillow must know you snore. It's wearing earmuffs."

"Alexa, what is my opinion today?"

"We need one of the smart vacuum cleaners that warn you when the bag is full."

"There's smart phones and smart cars, so why can't there be smart rooms that clean themselves?"

"Once I connect with my server over there, I can turn my lamp on and off."

"No, our home wasn't stolen. Since it's a 'smart home', it keeps having itself moved to a nice neighborhood."

"I have an imaginary friend called Fred, and my dad has one called Alexa."

The Not-So Smart Meter

"The smart toaster is down, and it took our wifi, security cameras, and entertainment systems with it."

"I think our smart home is suffering from separation anxiety. It's following us."

"I think you put too much healthy food in our smart refrigerator. It's about to spit it all out."

"You are still here."

1 Only Smart Hammer Instructions

"Between you, Alexa, and Siri, I'm just in a house surrounded by women who think they know everything."

Well, you and I know it's our home, but our 'smart home' doesn't know it's our home

"That thermostat I bought is smart. It knows how cheap I am, so it keeps our home freezing."

"Our smart home must know how must clutter we have, because it took it upon itself to rent a dumpster."

"For the last time...I'm Alexa, not Siri! Get it right, moron!"

"A watched kettle never boils, so I'm covering up Alexa."

"This universal remote is awesome. It controls the tv, cable, stereo, computer, garage door. . ."

"Our smart home sure is sensitive. Every time I hammer a nail in the wall it screams."

"Here's the remote to your smart home. It's big, but the good news is you'll never lose it."

"I just got a text message from our dehumidifier. It says it doesn't know how much more of this rain it can take."

"I synchronized the complete household with the computer and the smartphone. Now I don't have to feel lonely when nobody is at home because I can talk to the loo."

'Good grief! Our house is so 'smart' it just refinanced itself!'

"Here's the new smart plant...it tells you when you're overwatering it."

"These are smart socks. They will crawl themselves to the clothes hamper when you throw them on the floor. Make sure they're charged before wearing them."

'Say - according to our home computer, we're out of bread.'

"Hey Alexa, make it nice and easy for hackers to keep tabs on everything I do and influence my voting intentions."

"I don't care if it does have wifi. . . it's a vegetable peeler!"

"I'm a home-tech specialist. Your daughter called us. I'm here to convert her doll house into a smart doll house."

"Hey Google, describe the view."

"Officer, someone hacked my bluetooth pressure cooker and blew my kitchen apart! What can I do?"