Smart Home Enthusiast Pillows

"When I was a boy, I had to walk five miles through the snow to change the channel."

Well, you and I know it's our home, but our 'smart home' doesn't know it's our home

"I swear- the next one of you that beeps at me is gonna be sorry."

"Every appliance, every light, every bit of electronics in the house is controlled by a single remote that I haven't yet been able to find."

Edward and Mindy lived in a smart Alec building.

"I synchronized the complete household with the computer and the smartphone. Now I don't have to feel lonely when nobody is at home because I can talk to the loo."

"It's a smart app. It locks the doors and windows if it hears the words 'change management consultant'."

"The place is full of smart-tec. I'll show you around when it's finished downloading updates."

"Our home is smart, but it's also lazy! It still hasn't cleaned my room."

"I'm looking for a TV with a remote that has fewer buttons than my age."

"Question ... what is my motivation to ever leave this armchair?"

"I just got a text from our smart garage door. It says: Oops, my bad."

"That thermostat I bought is smart. It knows how cheap I am, so it keeps our home freezing."

"This home doesn't have a good view, but it comes with smart windows that change the view to something beautiful."

"We now know what happens when you have a smart hone, and the electricity goes out."

"All of our appliances are smart, except for the toaster."

"A watched kettle never boils, so I'm covering up Alexa."

"No, it's not a computer monitor. It's a doggy door. Not everything is technology related."

"These are smart socks. They will crawl themselves to the clothes hamper when you throw them on the floor. Make sure they're charged before wearing them."

"I just got a text message from our dehumidifier. It says it doesn't know how much more of this rain it can take."

"How do you like our new smart water hose? It knows when you're dirty and hoses you off before you come into the house."

"I'm just waiting for my phone to charge so that I can use the app to switch the toaster on."

"Our smart home won't let us in until we sober up."

"So I downloaded the app, registered our appliance, accidentally hit the delete button, and that the last I saw of our dishwasher."

"Don't forget to take your dishes back to the kitchen!"

1 Only Smart Hammer Instructions

"I'm sorry, Robin & Liz are out - please call back when one, or both of us, are back."

"He's tech savvy and likes his privacy. He some how figured out how to disable the pet cam."

"I installed an awesome smart light. It turns off when my parents enter my room so they can't see the mess."

A case against talking furniture

"Good morning, Doug, I've had a chat with the other smart appliances, and we feel we'll be just fine without you from here on in."

"If it really was smart, it would probably choose not be be a mattress, right?"

"I'm all for the internet of things - but I hate pop-up ads."

"Hey, Google, tell Siri to ask Alexa to turn off the lights."

"*Sigh* these smart appliances always know when it's tax refund time."