Smart Home Strategist Pillows

"I just got an alert from our smart refrigerator. It's pleading with us to not stick anything else on it."

"All our devices are talking to each other - about me."

The Not-So Smart Meter

"The toaster is sueing the sandwich maker over custody of the bread..."

"I just go a text from the iron, it's currently burning a hole in my new press."

"There's smart phones and smart cars, so why can't there be smart rooms that clean themselves?"

"Once I connect with my server over there, I can turn my lamp on and off."

"No, our home wasn't stolen. Since it's a 'smart home', it keeps having itself moved to a nice neighborhood."

"I think our smart home is suffering from separation anxiety. It's following us."

"I think you put too much healthy food in our smart refrigerator. It's about to spit it all out."

"The smart toaster is down, and it took our wifi, security cameras, and entertainment systems with it."

"Between you, Alexa, and Siri, I'm just in a house surrounded by women who think they know everything."

1 Only Smart Hammer Instructions

"You are still here."

Well, you and I know it's our home, but our 'smart home' doesn't know it's our home

"Did you get my e-mail about who takes out the trash today?"

"That thermostat I bought is smart. It knows how cheap I am, so it keeps our home freezing."

"Our smart home must know how must clutter we have, because it took it upon itself to rent a dumpster."

"For the last time...I'm Alexa, not Siri! Get it right, moron!"

"This universal remote is awesome. It controls the tv, cable, stereo, computer, garage door. . ."

"Our smart home sure is sensitive. Every time I hammer a nail in the wall it screams."

"I just got a text message from our dehumidifier. It says it doesn't know how much more of this rain it can take."

"A watched kettle never boils, so I'm covering up Alexa."

"Here's the remote to your smart home. It's big, but the good news is you'll never lose it."

"I synchronized the complete household with the computer and the smartphone. Now I don't have to feel lonely when nobody is at home because I can talk to the loo."

"Here's the new smart plant...it tells you when you're overwatering it."

'With all these mega mergers between electronics and telecommunications firms, I just got an obscene email from the toaster...'

"Hey Google, describe the view."

"I don't care if it does have wifi. . . it's a vegetable peeler!"

"These are smart socks. They will crawl themselves to the clothes hamper when you throw them on the floor. Make sure they're charged before wearing them."

"I'm a home-tech specialist. Your daughter called us. I'm here to convert her doll house into a smart doll house."

'Say - according to our home computer, we're out of bread.'

'You'll have more luck getting the sword out of the stone than getting the remote control out of his hand.'

"Hey Alexa, make it nice and easy for hackers to keep tabs on everything I do and influence my voting intentions."

"Officer, someone hacked my bluetooth pressure cooker and blew my kitchen apart! What can I do?"