Smart Home Innovator Pillows

"I wonder if this thing can read my mind..."

"Yes, we now have smart mirrors that can read your mood."

"I'm sorry, I'm having trouble understanding you right now. Please try again later. I'm sorry..."

"I love technology. I just programmed this smart tree to drop its leaves in the neighbor's yard."

"There's smart phones and smart cars, so why can't there be smart rooms that clean themselves?"

'Frank built it himself. The last football will fall through the hourglass 10 seconds before the Super Bowl starts.'

"No, our home wasn't stolen. Since it's a 'smart home', it keeps having itself moved to a nice neighborhood."

"I have an imaginary friend called Fred, and my dad has one called Alexa."

The Not-So Smart Meter

"I think our smart home is suffering from separation anxiety. It's following us."

"Dad! Dad! It's freezing out here! I wish we had a fireplace to get all cozy and roast marshmallows!"

"I don't think our smart home likes the color we painted it. It keeps spitting it out."

"I discovered our home can be programmed to spit out any unnecessary clutter."

1 Only Smart Hammer Instructions

Well, you and I know it's our home, but our 'smart home' doesn't know it's our home

"That thermostat I bought is smart. It knows how cheap I am, so it keeps our home freezing."

"Turn on the news." "I will not comply." "My analysis of your viewing patterns has determined you will grow depressed after the lead story." "There is a 95% probability you will then gorge yourself on rocky road ice cream and then stay up all night googling elliptical machines and diet pills." "Who told you this?" "Both your refrigerator and your browser are gossipy."

"And it comes with a coin filter for when you vacuum under the cushions."

"Our smart home must know how must clutter we have, because it took it upon itself to rent a dumpster."

'He'll do the dishes now that I've attached an accelerator.'

"Our smart home sure is sensitive. Every time I hammer a nail in the wall it screams."

"I just got a text message from our dehumidifier. It says it doesn't know how much more of this rain it can take."

"A watched kettle never boils, so I'm covering up Alexa."

"The blender just texted—we forgot to turn off the stove."

"I synchronized the complete household with the computer and the smartphone. Now I don't have to feel lonely when nobody is at home because I can talk to the loo."

'With all these mega mergers between electronics and telecommunications firms, I just got an obscene email from the toaster...'

"These are smart socks. They will crawl themselves to the clothes hamper when you throw them on the floor. Make sure they're charged before wearing them."

"Officer, someone hacked my bluetooth pressure cooker and blew my kitchen apart! What can I do?"

"The toaster is sueing the sandwich maker over custody of the bread..."

"Question ... what is my motivation to ever leave this armchair?"

Beware of the dog.

"No, it's not a computer monitor. It's a doggy door. Not everything is technology related."

"Hang on - I've got an app for this. . ."

"I'm all for the internet of things - but I hate pop-up ads."

"Good morning, Doug, I've had a chat with the other smart appliances, and we feel we'll be just fine without you from here on in."