Smart Home Pillows

"Our smart home must know how must clutter we have, because it took it upon itself to rent a dumpster."

"Once I connect with my server over there, I can turn my lamp on and off."

"Let's take it step by step. How do I turn it on?"

"I wonder if this thing can read my mind..."

"I hate this smart refrigerator."

"The name's Alexa, Who's Siri?"

"The place is full of smart-tec. I'll show you around when it's finished downloading updates."

"Every appliance, every light, every bit of electronics in the house is controlled by a single remote that I haven't yet been able to find."

"Question ... what is my motivation to ever leave this armchair?"

"I just got an alert from our smart refrigerator. It's pleading with us to not stick anything else on it."

"What does the word 'privacy' mean, honey? Why don't you ask our virtual assistant?"

Don Z. And His User-Friendly Apartment

"For the last time...I'm Alexa, not Siri! Get it right, moron!"

"These smart devices are going too far. The stove asked me to speak into the salt shaker."

"I've got a smart phone, a smart car, a smart TV, a smart doorbell, a smart kettle, a smart heating system and a smart meter. . .In fact, the only thing that ISN'T smart is ME. . . !"

"That's the problem with these 'smart' appliances. When one breaks down, they all experience sympathetic malfunction."

"Here's the new smart plant...it tells you when you're overwatering it."

"When they said the Internet of things we have our appliances talking to each other I didn't think this is what they meant!"

"Our smart home has a lot of features. Unfortunately, sarcasm is one of them."

Nigel's new 'smart' doorbell didn't live up to expectations...

"Hey, Google, tell Siri to ask Alexa to turn off the lights."

"It's a smart toaster. If you can't figure it out, press the 'Dumb It Down' button."

Backing up the Internet of Things

"Alexa, can you tell me what the hell I walked into this room for?"

"Bob has the distinction of being the only thing in this house that's not smart."

"I must ask Alexa too many questions. She said she can't answer any more because her throat is sore from talking."

"I'm beginning to regret ever having a smart meter fitted!"

"Hang on - I've got an app for this. . ."

"My name is Anne. You must ask a lot of questions, because you just said, 'Alexa, will you marry me?'"

". . . Did Ralph work out and eat a salad?"

"I love this new, smart coffee maker. It comes with a drone that flies to Brazil to get our coffee."

"I'm a home-tech specialist. Your daughter called us. I'm here to convert her doll house into a smart doll house."

"I'm just waiting for my phone to charge so that I can use the app to switch the toaster on."

"So I downloaded the app, registered our appliance, accidentally hit the delete button, and that the last I saw of our dishwasher."

"The world has become a strange place when you can check the stock market on your smart toaster."