Smart Dog Aficionados Pillows

'I don't care how smart he is, he's not allowed on the furniture!'

'As it's your first day we're going to start you on something easy.'

'Don't be embarrassed by your anti-barking collar, implanted tracking chip, and GPS device. Just think of them as fashion accessories.'

'Not here - home!'

"I couldn't possibly lick another baby right now."

'Actually, she's turned out to be a very clever pet. Watch when Rex stands up, she'll feed him a biscuit.'

Chasebook

Shaggy dog/Shaggy Owner.

'Surely they don't expect us to carry around THAT sort of money?'

"I don't get it! They're both diurnal, so why on earth would they bring back from the hospital a baby that's awake all night?"

"Beer? I see you taught Roscoe to fetch?"

Watchdog on Holiday

"It says 'beware of robot dog.'"

"Gesundheit!"

Hombre's Best Friend.

'Master Pavlov is a bit strange these days: For some reason, he rings a bell before serving us dinner...'

"I thought we swore never to go to bed angry."

"My instagram feed is basically people, dog food, and tennis balls."

"We need to channel his energy into something positive."

Dog wiping windscreen with tail

Prepper Dog

"Hey. We’re in the doghouse every night. That’s the beauty of it."

"I'm going to level with you. I find you to be disturbingly insane."

"I forgot to turn on the alarm." "It's all right, Peedy is there."

"You should run for president."

When Dogs Rule

'You do a fine job guarding the place, we just need you to shed less.'

The locker room door suddenly swings open, and Randy is busted by a steroid-sniffing dog.

"But I don't have any wishes related to food or squirrels."

"What I really want to do is chew up children’s books."

'It's too wet for walkies and I can't find my boots!'

Dog fetches dice

Owner "He won't stop pulling" Dog "Hey Babe fancy get on down at my pad?"

"I'd like you to meet our director of scratch-and-sniff advertising."

'Relax, he is just playing fetch the stick with the kids.'