Slumber Aficionado Gifts

'This is the voice mailbox of Rip Van Winkle. You have forty seven thousand two hundred and six messages...'

'This isn't his nap. This is his pre-nap. Then comes his nap. Followed by his post-nap.'

Sleeping princess catches a fly.

"I spend my day prepping for a good night"

"I think I need an extra pillow."

Wordplay: Hibernation.

Bob invents a device that electrically shocks anyone who calls between 11 p.m. and 7 a.m.

"Maybe we should have just had a baby..."

"Mmmm! Bears hibernate in the winter. Cats can hibernate anytime we want!"

"Yours is adjustable?"

"Well, if you're still awake when the time changes, you'll lose an hour of overthinking everything, too."

"I'm down to only one nap a day. From 8 am t0 8 pm."

A breakthrough in the morning meeting

'Okay. Time to get up. 1... 2... 3... Go!' - 'Actually, maybe I'll just rest my eyes for a few seconds.' - 'Zzzzz...'

Broken Alarm Clock.

'I hate counting sheep. I get enough math at school.'

Do not disturb...

'Don't take this the wrong way, Honey, but not only have I decided to hibernate this year, but I want to hibernate in the spare room...'

The Sleeping Congregation.

Downside of a memory foam mattress.

Baby zipping himself up then going to sleep

This is our 36th nap today - I can't read you a bedtime story EVERY time.

Women pay for one hour of uninterrupted sleep.

Oh, come on this insomnia is driving me nuts! Just shoot me with a tranquilizer dart, wouldja!

"You were snoring."

Shhh – I'm taking a virtual nap.

Let's not do anything we'll regret in the morning. I like to sleep past noon.

"I only drink decaf, otherwise I'm awake up to four hours a day."

"Let's go to sleep so that when we wake up today will be tomorrow."

"What's with your hair?"

Cyber Dream

'It's not Spring yet! Go back to sleep!'

"I like to come prepared for meetings."

Snooze Alarm for Mole.

'It's a soothing sounds machine. Spring Rain, Summer Breeze, and Fall School Bus.'