Sleep Aficionado Gifts

Snooze Alarm for Mole.

"I'd like to leave a wake up call for, . ... OHH ..., April."

'Yes, she always falls asleep when she does the daily attendance count.'

"I'm down to only one nap a day. From 8 am t0 8 pm."

'What gave him this idea?'

'Owl is a night person. Me, I can sleep anytime.'

Every falls asleep.

'I wouldn't worry about not brushing before bed if it was just the one night, Mr. Van Winkle.'

'Sorry, folks. We sold out by noon. It was complete bedlam.'

Circadian Rhythm lab.

"If sleeping were an Olympic sport, Harry would be a champion!"

"Would you please turn that off and hibernate."

'The only game my Dad knows is playing possum.'

'I'm on a great new diet -- I sleep through breakfast.'

Natural sleep

Man sleeping under a grass blanket.

'It's not Spring yet! Go back to sleep!'

"I sleep on my side, but I pass out on my stomach."

"Do you have anything a little firmer?"

Wordplay: Dawn Chorus

"Sleep mode."

'What's in going to be, a nip or a nap.'

"Do you prefer your mattress firm or soft - not that it matters."

"My doctor sad I need to concentrate on a monotone to get to sleep. Tell me about your day."

"I never have trouble sleeping - I can do it with my eyes closed!"

"If you can't sleep, try playing some relaxing human noises."

"What do you mean the company's been relocated and the building demolished...?! That must have been some nap!"

"An alarm clock?! Wow... What have I done to make you hate me so much, Louise?"

"He snores from October to May!"

'We'll take it!'

How My Pillow Works.

This is our 36th nap today - I can't read you a bedtime story EVERY time.

My arm is asleep. Perhaps I should mention that my hand has been known to sleepwalk.

If I nap now, I'll never be able to nap ten more times before bed.

With some regularity, loony old Uncle Mort rants about his political theories and blatherings. Today: His long-winded theory about the debt-ceiling negotiations. Feel free to nod off … It's the escalation of a religious war in this country. I'm listening, sort of. Those of us who believe in the role of government believe that mankind can improve our lot through innovation, investment, science. But those who oppose government essentially believe that our fate lies with God. Wake up, I'm pontifica