Sleep Aficionados Gifts

Wake up! Book at bedtime has finished, you can go to bed.

The Early and the Late Bird

Cot.

"Am I doing something wrong? He won't even consider hibernating."

"I think I need an extra pillow."

"I spend my day prepping for a good night"

Wordplay: Hibernation.

Bob invents a device that electrically shocks anyone who calls between 11 p.m. and 7 a.m.

"Sorry I'm late. I overslept." "Is that even a real word?"

"Maybe we should have just had a baby..."

"Mmmm! Bears hibernate in the winter. Cats can hibernate anytime we want!"

A breakthrough in the morning meeting

"I'm down to only one nap a day. From 8 am t0 8 pm."

Broken Alarm Clock.

'Okay. Time to get up. 1... 2... 3... Go!' - 'Actually, maybe I'll just rest my eyes for a few seconds.' - 'Zzzzz...'

'Make up your mind, folks... King size or Queen size?'

'I hate counting sheep. I get enough math at school.'

'Don't take this the wrong way, Honey, but not only have I decided to hibernate this year, but I want to hibernate in the spare room...'

Do not disturb...

"Clearly the patient's experiencing difficulty attaining the deep, final level of restful sleep."

"Let's go to sleep so that when we wake up today will be tomorrow."

'It's not Spring yet! Go back to sleep!'

"I like to come prepared for meetings."

"What's with your hair?"

Baby zipping himself up then going to sleep

"You were snoring."

"I only drink decaf, otherwise I'm awake up to four hours a day."

Snooze Alarm for Mole.

'It's a soothing sounds machine. Spring Rain, Summer Breeze, and Fall School Bus.'

There's a VERY SIMPLE EXPLANATION. I snore like an alarm clock and my wife mistook my nose for the snooze button.

The next step in executive efficiency - Microsoft PowerNap.

'Was it the non-flying dream again?'

'We'll take it!'

"Would you mind getting me the Ambien, the Tiger Balm, three cookies, a cup of tea and a pillow for my legs?"