Sleep Aficionados Gifts

It says here that yu sleep less as you get older. I think Ernie has found fountain of eternal youth.

Wake up! Book at bedtime has finished, you can go to bed.

The Early and the Late Bird

Cot.

"Am I doing something wrong? He won't even consider hibernating."

"I spend my day prepping for a good night"

"I think I need an extra pillow."

Wordplay: Hibernation.

Bob invents a device that electrically shocks anyone who calls between 11 p.m. and 7 a.m.

"Maybe we should have just had a baby..."

"Sorry I'm late. I overslept." "Is that even a real word?"

"Mmmm! Bears hibernate in the winter. Cats can hibernate anytime we want!"

"I'm down to only one nap a day. From 8 am t0 8 pm."

A breakthrough in the morning meeting

Broken Alarm Clock.

'Okay. Time to get up. 1... 2... 3... Go!' - 'Actually, maybe I'll just rest my eyes for a few seconds.' - 'Zzzzz...'

'Make up your mind, folks... King size or Queen size?'

Do not disturb...

'I hate counting sheep. I get enough math at school.'

'Don't take this the wrong way, Honey, but not only have I decided to hibernate this year, but I want to hibernate in the spare room...'

"Clearly the patient's experiencing difficulty attaining the deep, final level of restful sleep."

Downside of a memory foam mattress.

'It's not Spring yet! Go back to sleep!'

"What's with your hair?"

Let's not do anything we'll regret in the morning. I like to sleep past noon.

"I only drink decaf, otherwise I'm awake up to four hours a day."

"Let's go to sleep so that when we wake up today will be tomorrow."

This is our 36th nap today - I can't read you a bedtime story EVERY time.

"You were snoring."

Oh, come on this insomnia is driving me nuts! Just shoot me with a tranquilizer dart, wouldja!

Baby zipping himself up then going to sleep

"I like to come prepared for meetings."

Snooze Alarm for Mole.

'It's a soothing sounds machine. Spring Rain, Summer Breeze, and Fall School Bus.'

There's a VERY SIMPLE EXPLANATION. I snore like an alarm clock and my wife mistook my nose for the snooze button.