Sleep Connoisseurs Gifts

"Wrong side. Right side."

"I think I need an extra pillow."

"I spend my day prepping for a good night"

Wordplay: Hibernation.

Bob invents a device that electrically shocks anyone who calls between 11 p.m. and 7 a.m.

"Maybe we should have just had a baby..."

"Mmmm! Bears hibernate in the winter. Cats can hibernate anytime we want!"

"Sorry I'm late. I overslept." "Is that even a real word?"

"I'm down to only one nap a day. From 8 am t0 8 pm."

A breakthrough in the morning meeting

Broken Alarm Clock.

'Okay. Time to get up. 1... 2... 3... Go!' - 'Actually, maybe I'll just rest my eyes for a few seconds.' - 'Zzzzz...'

'Make up your mind, folks... King size or Queen size?'

'I hate counting sheep. I get enough math at school.'

'Don't take this the wrong way, Honey, but not only have I decided to hibernate this year, but I want to hibernate in the spare room...'

Do not disturb...

"Clearly the patient's experiencing difficulty attaining the deep, final level of restful sleep."

Downside of a memory foam mattress.

'It's not Spring yet! Go back to sleep!'

Oh, come on this insomnia is driving me nuts! Just shoot me with a tranquilizer dart, wouldja!

"Let's go to sleep so that when we wake up today will be tomorrow."

Baby zipping himself up then going to sleep

Let's not do anything we'll regret in the morning. I like to sleep past noon.

"I only drink decaf, otherwise I'm awake up to four hours a day."

"What's with your hair?"

"You were snoring."

This is our 36th nap today - I can't read you a bedtime story EVERY time.

"I like to come prepared for meetings."

Snooze Alarm for Mole.

'It's a soothing sounds machine. Spring Rain, Summer Breeze, and Fall School Bus.'

There's a VERY SIMPLE EXPLANATION. I snore like an alarm clock and my wife mistook my nose for the snooze button.

The next step in executive efficiency - Microsoft PowerNap.

Fish sleeps while counting worms that jump over a fence.

In the great green room there was a pot of coffee and a red-eyed dad, too. Good Morning Moon.

'Was it the non-flying dream again?'