Slow-paced Life Aficionado T-Shirts

'It's the final lap, Jerry! He looks tired! ooze around him! ooze around him!'

'They sold the company in 2001? I was wondering why things were slow.'

'Wow, these lights stay on the red cycle for a very long time.'

'The Rush Orders department is a shambles, Briggs, and I think you're just the man to turn it around,'

"Sorry, but your life moves so slowly that the ball keeps timing out."

Pension in race with tortoise and snail.

'Of course business is slow. Would we want it any other way?'

"It sucks being reincarnated as a snail, but at least I've finally achieved home ownership."

"Dude, I don't mind watching your holiday video, but can you fast-forward it please..."

Speed Checked By Radar.

"Anyone home?"

Granny takes a turtle for a walk.

'I never let the stress of the job get me down.'

'Sorry, Bill's out of his office today, he should be back Monday.'

"We missed out on the quality of life index again."

Boris Bike

"One day junior, all this will be yours..."

"But otherwise I'll bet they lead very dull lives."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, lady, can't you read?"

"Time travel will never happen. You'd have to be able to travel faster than the speed of a tortoise for it to be possible."

Business is slow, thank goodness.

"I was involved in an awful accident, and was in a coma for three weeks. Half my life flashed before me!"

"I'm searching my family history in hopes of finding some generational trauma or institutionalized oppression that would explain whole I'm failing all my courses."

"When I was small, I used to be so busy. I was always running here and rushing there. Go, go, go. That was me. Now I just ride my bike or sit around watching mindless junk on TV. My life just keeps getting better and better all the time."

Tortoise Mailman.

"I've always worked from home."

'...and that concludes this five-hour seminar on 'slow life'.'

"When life gets too hectic, I just like to stop, smell the roses, and write checks."

Randy, if you could be any superhero, which one would you be? I'd be Randy-Man. He came to earth with powers and abilities far beyond those of mortal men. He's slower than a speeding bullet, because he takes his time in all things. He can change the course of a lady's evening with a single smile. I don't think The Avengers would have much use for Randy-Man.

I wasn't screening my calls! I just can't make it to the phone before the machine picks up!

Randy, if you could be ANY superhero, which one would you be? I'd be Randy-Man. He came to earth with powers and abilities far beyond those of mortal men. He's slower than a speeding bullet, because he takes his time in all things. He can change the course of a lady's evening with a single smile. I don't think The Avengers would have much use for Randy-Man.

"Well yes, we've been married for eighty years, but your grandma didn't want to rush things: We were engaged for thirty years before that..."

Life didn't pass me by --- I just refused to keep up!

'I love my job, but the commute is killing me.'

'On your mark...'