Slow-paced Enthusiast T-Shirts

Mr. Sloth #3; Bathroom Break. What are you doing in there, reading War and Peace?

"I've always worked from home."

"One day junior, all this will be yours..."

'They sold the company in 2001? I was wondering why things were slow.'

Hush puppy.

'Wow, these lights stay on the red cycle for a very long time.'

"I guess now's as good a time as any."

Need an elevated state of mind too!

"Sigh...Another sherry Harold...Go team ect."

'The Rush Orders department is a shambles, Briggs, and I think you're just the man to turn it around,'

"Sorry, but your life moves so slowly that the ball keeps timing out."

'I'll do half of it.'

"Not now, Matthew. This is Daddy's quiet-desperation time."

'I think I'm just coming up to the finishing line, Dear.'

Pension in race with tortoise and snail.

'Of course business is slow. Would we want it any other way?'

"Dude, I don't mind watching your holiday video, but can you fast-forward it please..."

'Do you have anything on obtrusive personality disorder?'

Tortoise Goes For A Swim

"Sure, I love the scent of a REAL tree, but nothing beats the convenience of ignoring the holidays altogether."

Man wearing t-shirt - 'Apathetic but don't care'.

'Your tests indicate that you have a very short attention span -- you should be either a short-order cook or a news anchorman.'

Speed Checked By Radar.

'That's where he goes to regain his sanity.'

New York City, where even snails live at a fast pace!

"Willy here will be our guide, and according to him, this short walk should take about three months..."

"Hey, Eli, would you and your little friend mind getting as far away from me as humanly possible?"

"Hang on -- I'm going to make the jump to 90 m.p.h."

Shut the F#%* up! (Formally Shhhh!)

Granny takes a turtle for a walk.

'Like to read, huh? Me, too. I'm a big reader. I just finished a book by Brown. you know Dan Brown? Great writer...'

"She also sits up there so she doesn't have to talk to anyone."

Free Little Library

'Sorry, Bill's out of his office today, he should be back Monday.'

"Anyone home?"