Slow Life Enthusiast T-Shirts

'...and that concludes this five-hour seminar on 'slow life'.'

"When life gets too hectic, I just like to stop, smell the roses, and write checks."

Turtle rings doorbell of another turtle.

"Sorry, but your life moves so slowly that the ball keeps timing out."

'They sold the company in 2001? I was wondering why things were slow.'

'Wow, these lights stay on the red cycle for a very long time.'

'The Rush Orders department is a shambles, Briggs, and I think you're just the man to turn it around,'

Pension in race with tortoise and snail.

'Of course business is slow. Would we want it any other way?'

"It sucks being reincarnated as a snail, but at least I've finally achieved home ownership."

"Dude, I don't mind watching your holiday video, but can you fast-forward it please..."

Speed Checked By Radar.

"One day junior, all this will be yours..."

Boris Bike

'Sorry, Bill's out of his office today, he should be back Monday.'

"Giddyup!. . . Damn. I think I just wasted 500 bucks."

"We missed out on the quality of life index again."

Granny takes a turtle for a walk.

"Anyone home?"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, lady, can't you read?"

"I was involved in an awful accident, and was in a coma for three weeks. Half my life flashed before me!"

"Time travel will never happen. You'd have to be able to travel faster than the speed of a tortoise for it to be possible."

Tortoise Mailman.

Whoa. I just had a near-life experience.

"I've always worked from home."

Snail Taxi.

"When I was small, I used to be so busy. I was always running here and rushing there. Go, go, go. That was me. Now I just ride my bike or sit around watching mindless junk on TV. My life just keeps getting better and better all the time."

Business is slow, thank goodness.

"I'm all for the quiet life but she keeps rattling on all day long."

I may not be the smartest tortoise, but I've been around the block a few times. Well, once.

'I love my job, but the commute is killing me.'

Who you don't want to get stuck behind in summer traffic.

"Well yes, we've been married for eighty years, but your grandma didn't want to rush things: We were engaged for thirty years before that..."

I wasn't screening my calls! I just can't make it to the phone before the machine picks up!

Snail hitching a lift to the other side of the garden from a tortoise