Slow Life Appreciators T-Shirts

Snail Taxi.

"Better start moving towards shelter: the weather forecast is for rain this afternoon..."

"Sorry, but your life moves so slowly that the ball keeps timing out."

The Harold Pinter theatre...

Pension in race with tortoise and snail.

'Of course business is slow. Would we want it any other way?'

"If I ever feel that life's moving too fast, I just stand in the prescriptions queue..."

"Dude, I don't mind watching your holiday video, but can you fast-forward it please..."

"Sure I'm impressed...but it's three weeks old."

"That's alright, I'll keep you company: I'm not in a hurry to get to school..."

'Don't worry -- we'll have you up and around in five or six years!'

"It sucks being reincarnated as a snail, but at least I've finally achieved home ownership."

'When did the world get into such a big hurry?'

Speed Checked By Radar.

Boris Bike

"We missed out on the quality of life index again."

"Anyone home?"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, lady, can't you read?"

I wish somebody had told me "Prince Charming" is an ironic nickname his fraternity gave him!

There once was a person who planted a seed

"You sure are getting old and fat."

"When I was small, I used to be so busy. I was always running here and rushing there. Go, go, go. That was me. Now I just ride my bike or sit around watching mindless junk on TV. My life just keeps getting better and better all the time."

Business is slow, thank goodness.

"I was involved in an awful accident, and was in a coma for three weeks. Half my life flashed before me!"

Gastropod Wedding Showers,

'...and that concludes this five-hour seminar on 'slow life'.'

"I come with my own cubicle."

"When life gets too hectic, I just like to stop, smell the roses, and write checks."

I wasn't screening my calls! I just can't make it to the phone before the machine picks up!

Snail hitching a lift to the other side of the garden from a tortoise

"I hear furlough's being extended."

"I shouldn't have gone to freshen up at the interval: The second act was almost over by the time I reached my seat again..."

Life didn't pass me by --- I just refused to keep up!

Another sleepy one town horse.

"The snail-mail of our species is deadlier than the e-mail."