Slow-paced Humor Enthusiast Pillows

'So we're all agreed, the snail did it. Now we just have to figure out which direction he went.'

'In its new 'spirit of evenhandedness,' the U. S. Government today sent troops to occupy all foreign countries....'

Trappist Monk Discord

A Golden Non-Retriever

'What does it say, Dad?'

"Nous somme desir-eh, go, er, allez, erm, universitaire français, s'il vous plait."

HELLth Food Sprouts

'If I believed in aptitude tests I'd still be washing cars in Accrington,.'

'In today's market hyperbole was up sharply. Similes and metaphors held relatively steady with euphemisms hitting another record low.'

'Looks like the perfect time to bring in our profit sharing scheme.'

"...in other news: Google has been admitted to the United Stations..."

Crime in bookshop

'Staffers don't report we're managing decline. They report we met our targets and did out job!'

"If you get married at the Grammy Awards, can your marriage be annulled at the Country Music Awards?"

"Actually, you do have a racist bone in your body."

Men Working Things Out

Clone Factory

Trump Tariffs

Man on left - 'What do you call a public servant who spends half their time doing private work?' Man on right - 'An MP?'

"Wow! Check out the moon."

'Remember, repeated failure... is no guarantee of eventual success!'

"Inactivists"

"Oh boy, by the way this guy is moving, we can assume he's got some of our friends in his pants..."

"Oh, just the usual here, occupying Wall Street."

'So far, all I can tell you for sure is how much I've charged you.'

'In my opinion, hold out for a doctor.'

'Look, half the work is done! All you need to do is fill in the top part so we can legally say the bottom part.'

'We're really just a mom and pop store...if mom and pop had 600,000 employees.'

'I've seen nothing I've liked since Victor Meldrew!'

Prescription Drugs '96.

'Oh my God!! The economy's in ruins! There's no money!'