Slow-motion Aficionado T-Shirts

"No, this video of your father running is not in slow motion."

'They sold the company in 2001? I was wondering why things were slow.'

'Wow, these lights stay on the red cycle for a very long time.'

'Caution Speed Bump Ahead.'

'The Rush Orders department is a shambles, Briggs, and I think you're just the man to turn it around,'

"Sorry, but your life moves so slowly that the ball keeps timing out."

"Dude, I don't mind watching your holiday video, but can you fast-forward it please..."

'Well she came out of nowhere! It all happened in slow motion!'

"Don't tell the boss, but I'm leaving early to beat the traffic."

'I want to be a philosopher Mum: Lots of thinking and no physical work...'

Tai Chi video - can you slow it down, it's still too fast!

"As much as I love stop motion animation, it just doesn't transfer well to the stage."

'Sorry, Bill's out of his office today, he should be back Monday.'

"One day junior, all this will be yours..."

Granny takes a turtle for a walk.

Who's playing - 'I'm not sure.' - 'What's the score?' - 'I don't know.' - 'What the...?' - 'Yeah, baby... slow motion replay' -

'Tortoise fanciers dinner 6:30pm for 10pm'

"I've always worked from home."

'I thought he'd never leave!'

"Time travel will never happen. You'd have to be able to travel faster than the speed of a tortoise for it to be possible."

'...and that concludes this five-hour seminar on 'slow life'.'

"I am running!"

'I love my job, but the commute is killing me.'

"I shouldn't have gone to freshen up at the interval: The second act was almost over by the time I reached my seat again..."

'Sorry I'm late -- I had to climb over a speed bump.'

"When life gets too hectic, I just like to stop, smell the roses, and write checks."

"What a shell!"

'On your mark...'

"Well yes, we've been married for eighty years, but your grandma didn't want to rush things: We were engaged for thirty years before that..."

I may not be the smartest tortoise, but I've been around the block a few times. Well, once.

"Gotta run. Here's my Uber."

'It's the final lap, Jerry! He looks tired! ooze around him! ooze around him!'

Minutes before two sloths collide

Remember, don't judge other snails until you've crept a few inches in their shells.

I told you not to stop so fast.