Slow Eater Gifts

T"ruly, Susan, I envy no man."

'Congratulations on your 100% plant-based diet. I'm referring you to a botanist.'

'I'm worried about him, he eats his vegetables, but not his dessert!'

"This was a wicked-hard test. I'm pretty sure everybody got a bad grade."

'The second diet of my diet is always the easiest. By then, I'm off my diet.'

All-Day Breakfast

Local food for local consumption

"You've got some food or something in your moustache."

You'll see the food is excellent, but the service is far too slow....

'Fred is a social conservative -- he believes in slow food and heavy beer.'

Shopper in grocery store sees TV dinners marked daytime and prime time.

"No, it's still just a thirst for spaghettios."

Slow food restaurant

'Fred is a social conservative -- he believes in slow food and heavy beer.'

"Do you want ketchup on your steak too?"

Peas on Earth.

'Ethical farm - none of our produce goes to fast food outlets'.

"Yoga has helped me appreciate the healing power of donuts."

"This? It's my Thanksgiving outfit. It's already pre-stained in cranberry sauce and pumpkin pie."

Overzealous health inspectors.

Eat 'n' Pay 'n' Get Out Restaurant

'Then that's one steak well done and fries, and one anything as long as it's fast.'

"I gave up on finding Mr. Right and settled for Mr. Chocolate!"

"I'm going across the street for a sandwich and coffee. Can I get you something?"

'Is there a money back guarantee if the burrito isn't as big as your head?'

Tortoise and the Hare

"I cook everything with an alternative energy source, so it may take a while."

'Are you still eating your breakfast? I want to lay the table for lunch.'

'You order the jumbo combo?'

What's the difference between fast food and slow food?

Go large or go home!

"It's not a Jackson Pollock T-shirt, it's the pizza I had for lunch."

'If you were in such a hurry why did you order the snails?'