Impatient Eater Gifts

'Dinner was taking too long, so I just went ahead and ordered pizza.'

'Then that's one steak well done and fries, and one anything as long as it's fast.'

'Sorry to keep you waiting.'

"Hurry up! I'm gasping for a cheese sandwhich."

T"ruly, Susan, I envy no man."

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

"This was a wicked-hard test. I'm pretty sure everybody got a bad grade."

"The salad should be delicious. We ordered it with lots of extra bacon bits."

"Please don't kill me."

Al's Diner. Special: Spaghetti. All You Can Eat $3.95. Ernie, don't play with your food unless you're sure you can win.

"No, it's still just a thirst for spaghettios."

'C'mon! Speed it up! I've got a bottle of wine here that says it's meant to be drunk soon!'

"You've got some food or something in your moustache."

"Can you just recommend something? Neither of us can possibly focus long enough to read a menu."

"Where's my order!? This service is terrible! That stuff will be cold by the time it gets here!! What's the hold-up!?!"

"Do you want ketchup on your steak too?"

'Yeah. Yeah... Wolf, girl, grandma. I got the picture.'

"You took your time!" "Better latte than never"

Access Denied!

'Are we nearly there yet Dad?'

"This? It's my Thanksgiving outfit. It's already pre-stained in cranberry sauce and pumpkin pie."

'I don't care what the timer says - my nose says they're done.'

"Do you know donuts have fewer calories than you? I guess that would explain your muffin top."

'Okay, kids, we're finally here.'

"Fill it up!"

Bangers and Mash

"While you're waiting for your order, can I pick something off someone else's plate for you?"

"To prevent any complaints like "when will our ordered food be served" guests can now follow the work in the kitchen on TV."

Spaghetto

"I hate waiting, don't you?" (patents office)

'Frankly, the diet I'm putting you on will include things that you probably wouldn't consider 'food' as such.'

"It's not a Jackson Pollock T-shirt, it's the pizza I had for lunch."

"No more ice cream cakes."

"He's really healthy, except for the grilled cheese."

'Make up your mind, M'sieur — a hundred years from now, what difference will it make what you had for lunch today?'