Impatient Shopper Gifts

'C'mon! Speed it up! I've got a bottle of wine here that says it's meant to be drunk soon!'

'She's so put together!'

'Rozlyn, that blouse is very cute! I think you should get it.'

Coming Soon! More Stuff You Could Live Without!

"I hate it when they put kittens in the impulse buying section."

Ladies Fashions - "Money isn't tight - you are!"

Expensive greeting cards.

"Where's my order!? This service is terrible! That stuff will be cold by the time it gets here!! What's the hold-up!?!"

"I went by the pet store this morning, just for a peek."

'Just look'in'

'Are we nearly there yet Dad?'

"You might say I'm middle-of-the-road. I'd buy a fur coat but I wouldn't buy a Japanese fur coat."

"I wish you wouldn't buy things from people who come to the door."

'Okay, kids, we're finally here.'

Adrenaline is flowing down there with lots of last-minute, panicked Christmas shoppers! The DNA is frantically looking for heirlooms that'll be passed on in succeeding generations. It seems no price is too high for the helium atom - it's buying everything! Meanwhile, the neutron can't charge and hasn't been able to buy a single gift! Tempers are getting short! A big nerve angered other shoppers by blatantly cutting in the checkout line! And there's a quarrel over a parking spot with a whit

"While you're waiting for your order, can I pick something off someone else's plate for you?"

"Never mind what's in the box. That'll be discussed at the end of the month."

"I got napkins, family photos, and the strongest lip balm in the city."

"To prevent any complaints like "when will our ordered food be served" guests can now follow the work in the kitchen on TV."

"You really shouldn't shop when you're hungry."

'Then that's one steak well done and fries, and one anything as long as it's fast.'

"I need nothing and I want everything."

"Hi honey, do we need anything for the junk drawer?"

"I balance my manic compulsive buying with manic buyer's remorse."

'He's sulking because I caught him licking the cake shop window.'

'Make up your mind, M'sieur — a hundred years from now, what difference will it make what you had for lunch today?'

"Slow down, I want to take a peek in Barneys!"

Online Dating Tip 1: Don't Get Angry

Last-Minute Gifts

'Dinner was taking too long, so I just went ahead and ordered pizza.'

Sofa Sale: 'I like this sofa - I'll take it.'

"Yes, two-for-one's a great deal, but we don't need any freshly cut Christmas trees in June!"

"You're such good company, impulsively purchased jumpsuit from last spring!"

Ears Pierced While You Wait

Shopping for an exercise bike