Slow And Steady Driver Mugs

"I had you doing six in a five."

Speed Dating for Turtles

What McWit lacks in speed he gains in nose.

'Wow, these lights stay on the red cycle for a very long time.'

Snail Racing

"I wish he'd slow the hell down." "I wish he'd hurry the hell up."

"Where's my order!? This service is terrible! That stuff will be cold by the time it gets here!! What's the hold-up!?!"

'The Rush Orders department is a shambles, Briggs, and I think you're just the man to turn it around,'

"In your own time, Brian, in your own time."

'In just ten years he's accomplished what has taken others weeks to do.'

Boy throws a stick for a tortoise. By the time the tortoise returns, the boy is an old man.

U. S. MAIL, 'Daddy's home!'

No Caption. (A snail is shown towing snail shells on a trailer in the manner of a semi truck towing cars to an auto dealer.)

"Come on! It's the final lap!"

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Traffic Sign Haiku

'Sorry, Bill's out of his office today, he should be back Monday.'

Turtles and snails boarding Noah's Ark.

It's The Highway For People Who Hate To Drive

'We can exchange information, or, if you prefer, I can punch you in the face and forget the whole thing ever happened.'

Height barrier accident.

"Where do you see yourself in 150 years?"

"Wait, I think I got a signal!"

Drink Driving

'Better slow it down a bit.'

"Our blind dates have spotted us, but it's going to be a while before we reach them: try to stay nonchalant all the way though..."

Princess Snail Ride

"Well yes, we've been married for eighty years, but your grandma didn't want to rush things: We were engaged for thirty years before that..."

'I love my job, but the commute is killing me.'

I may not be the smartest tortoise, but I've been around the block a few times. Well, once.

"This is moving too fast. . ."

'Actually, you're the first to arrive.'

'Yes, he's still working on that memo. You can't rush the creative process, you know.'

I don't brake for lawyers

Remember, don't judge other snails until you've crept a few inches in their shells.