Slothful Savant Gifts

"He tried living in the fast lane, but he didn't like it, so now he just sleeps all day."

"Tariffs love me...tariffs love me not..."

Plant Lady

Maybe clean out your wallet

'Dang! I never now if the sommelier is messing with me.'

"All dishes marked with an asterisk are served with sarcasm. . ."

Homo Zapiens

Angel wears t-shirt with logo: YOLO.

East End Maps.

How the goat got square eyes.

Book on Thumb Twiddling

Lazy man contemplates the moment of creation.

"Remember, son, you can be anything you want to be...except for maybe an aroma therapist."

"I don't think there's anything wrong with your fitness watch: It's just that you haven't moved enough to trigger it..."

'Boy, there are days I feel like doing even less than I usually do...'

Bummer Time Streaming

"George is going for the Guinness World Record for just sitting."

"The lost password department's that way."

"I hope you don't mind, I've just scribbled a few different ideas!"

'Late night with Norm Klosterman'

"I'd really let myself go. I hadn't shaved in days."

'Seem the remote?'

'Hey! You forgot the TV!'

'Welcome to 'Wall Street Speaks'... and now our next guest is an expert on street talk.'

I think the couch potatoes are going to make you their poster boy. Only if they send a photographer over --- I'm not moving.

"I never wanted this to be a long-distance relationship."

"So, Humberto, you moved to the United States just last month?"

"This straw sucks! 'Er not."

"Some cactuses get all the arms."

Yoga. The best part about being a yoga instructor? The flexible hours!

Sloths in the Old West

Grumpy Moody Boy.

Sloth Machine

"I think this department may have something to do with your company's productivity problems."

Thank You For Not Calling Me Dude!