Slop Steward Gifts

'Is it slop yet?'

"Would you like some wings?"

Homo Gamus

"Stick with me baby, and you'll eat slop every day."

Tree Funeral

'I'll be conducting Mahler 3 as the guests arrive.'

'There was a time I thought humans were as smart as we are.'

Congratulations! - You have been nominated for the Turner Prize...

'The trouble with living on a farm is there are too many things a child can do.'

"....After ten o'clock is quiet time on board for the comfort of our passengers."

After the latest pay bonus and benefit awards you've won, I've decided to join you on the shop floor.

'Where are those nice blue fish that we like - the ones with the blue stripes?' - 'We ate them all - they're now extinct.'

'This is a collect call from 'THE CAPTAIN.' Do you accept all charges?'

'You wished to see the house red?'

'You know, you remind me of me when I first started here.'

'Quick! Page the flight deck, bring me oxygen, gloves, a mask and someone junior!'

'I think you should know, I put a piece on 'YourTube' praising your stewardship.'

A sign at a restaurant - Food left unattended will be eaten by the waiter.

'Happy New Year!'

'You don't need to worry Jean, he's a very simple cook.'

"I was going to go to the other slop trough, but the music's always too loud."

Our Job Steward

"I always thought you blokes were supposed to be impartial."

'Fitzroy, the sea is a bit too cold to swim in. Would you please go and get the immersion heater?'

"I don't think reusable straws are going to be enough."

'I don't think we have to worry about anyone stealing our St. Joseph's-bread wine glass idea.'

'Once you're seated and have safely stowed all carry-ons, we'll start the bidding for seat belts.'

"Hi Stan, this is scheduling. Today we're sending you to places no one wants to go, on a day no one wants to work, with people no one wants to fly with."

The consequences of messing with nature

Dolphins Only Began Jumping Out of Water After we threw Stuff into it

'Water, there's a fly in my slop.'

Consumption vs. Strategy.

'A Stewardess's Cupboard.' On a shelf are a Jar of COFFEE, a tin of TEA, and a box of ME.

Would you like some sprinkles on that?

He was a real fan of recycling