Slop Comedy Connoisseur Gifts

"Stick with me baby, and you'll eat slop every day."

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

"My dad says we eat honey 'cause it has lots of vitamin Bee."

"His first out-of-body experience."

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

"I said the males were 'evolving' – I didn't say they were 'maturing.'"

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

"My emotional support dog ate my comfort food."

"Do you, Darlene, take Jim to be your lawfully wedded husband, when you could, clearly, do far better?"

New and improved! BunkerBuster! Get out of the sand trap every single time - or your money back!!

"I've done this procedure so often I could do it in my sleep. But that's only happened twice – that I'll admit to."

Dog Walking Services

"The fish sticks here are very good."

Skiing.

Squirrel Chasing a Dog

'Fine stencilling. But have you never thought - Tit Willow, Tit Willow, Tit Willow?'

Intelligent people laugh too!

'No doubt about it Captain. See these markings? This arrow belongs to Robin Hood!'

"I've no idea. Maybe it's the slumber channel."

'Tony, you always try to lead.'

"I warned you not to use that club...now look, you struck oil!"

Shakespeare does stand-up comedy in the round.

'He likes to power nap.'

"I'm afraid you could go at any time."

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

'You're through around here.. turn in your rubber donut!'

'He has your nose and my ears.'

"I told you playing Pin the Tail on the Donkey was a dumb idea."

Clown throws a bucket of confetti over car at 'Jimbo's carwash'.

"This next one is called 'The Sermon on the Mount.'"

'Run, run, as fast as you can!'

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'