Slop Comedy Connoisseur Pillows

"Stick with me baby, and you'll eat slop every day."

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

"His first out-of-body experience."

"I said the males were 'evolving' – I didn't say they were 'maturing.'"

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

"My emotional support dog ate my comfort food."

"Do you, Darlene, take Jim to be your lawfully wedded husband, when you could, clearly, do far better?"

"I've done this procedure so often I could do it in my sleep. But that's only happened twice – that I'll admit to."

New and improved! BunkerBuster! Get out of the sand trap every single time - or your money back!!

"The fish sticks here are very good."

Squirrel Chasing a Dog

Skiing.

Dog Walking Services

'Fine stencilling. But have you never thought - Tit Willow, Tit Willow, Tit Willow?'

Intelligent people laugh too!

'No doubt about it Captain. See these markings? This arrow belongs to Robin Hood!'

"I'm afraid you could go at any time."

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

'Tony, you always try to lead.'

"I warned you not to use that club...now look, you struck oil!"

Clown throws a bucket of confetti over car at 'Jimbo's carwash'.

Shakespeare does stand-up comedy in the round.

"I've no idea. Maybe it's the slumber channel."

'You're through around here.. turn in your rubber donut!'

'He has your nose and my ears.'

'He likes to power nap.'

"This next one is called 'The Sermon on the Mount.'"

Mrs. Claus has a ladies night out.

'Run, run, as fast as you can!'

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'