Slideshow Perfectionist Gifts

Thank You, Goals Achieved... and then some!

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

Brian wanted to call the presentation "Synergy". Paula wanted to call it "Cooperation". They could never agree.

A presenter with a very complex chart to explain a business plan - 'And it's as simple as that!'

How to deliver a successful presentation.

"Any questions?"

"Quit stalling, Smithers. Where's the SALES chart?"

'It appears the 'What?'s have it.'

'Ted, I really wish you'd update your presentation software so we could do away with the 3-D glasses.'

"Peterson proposes we move out of the mountains."

The Importance of Planning Thoroughly in Advance

"Good invisible exports figures this quarter, sir."

Hanging off every word...

"I'll be glad when they invent PowerPoint."

'This prediction has a margin of error of plus or minus fifteen...fifteen class-action suits brought against the company.'

"You need to take the weak parts of your presentation and work them into something that won't get you fired."

'Can't he ever use a different kind of chart?'

'At this juncture in my presentation, I'd like to dispense with the illusion of coherence.'

"Remember that optimistic, slightly crazy, throw a dart at the wall forecast? We beat it."

"In response to your request for better communications, I'm going to increase my lengthy explanation by 50%."

Downward arrow on progress chart goes through the floor: 'OK, I know this doesn't look good ...'

Presentation Skills: 1. Be Prepared.

"May I recommend our Seared Filet with Lobster Cream Sauce? It's very photogenic."

"I can't tell you how it ended. That would ruin the sequel."

'And in conclusion, perhaps a change of business model is in order.'

"Maybe you do have all the answers but they didn't match any of our questions."

"The sound system is fixed so we can start. Would you kindly put the beach ball away!"

'I wish you would update your presentation software so we could do away with the 3-D glasses.'

How to engage an audience

'Good to know my whole social life hasn't been a complete waste.'

"I figure we can blue-screen the kids in later."

"You additional graphics are totally unnecessary, Phelps."

"Another organization has already researched this, but I'm afraid that if we use it, we won't get as much credit."

"Maybe the pie chart should have been refrigerated."