Slice Of Life Humorists Pillows

'Don't you see Rick - your slump is just a success neurosis. You found your .394 average dangerous, because you fantasised that it would bring about resentment.'

"Tight......this isn't tight...now a New York City apartment......that's tight."

"Here's something called "The Fifty Greatest Countdown Shows Ever!""

"I'm just a girl, standing in front of a buoy..."

"We think it has something to do with your genome."

Peter

"Believe me when I tell you that I'm not that honest."

'I can validate both your feelings and your parking.'

"Whoa. Check it out, Doug. Your ex-wife is sitting right below us with that dolt she ran off with..."

"Hey samson, nice man bun."

'Looks like this part of the beach has been claimed.'

"'Burned out,' Parker?- I wasn't aware you ever even 'caught fire.'"

"My wife is about to have a baby, so I was wondering if you could make me work late for the next eighteen years or so."

'Henderson! Have you been drinking again?'

"On Monday, they will introduce a new office layout and you'll be near Judy, who isn't good at sharing her charger. . ."

'You've had a bad day? Try being stuck in this house!'

"And that was my day at the office. Thanks, Alice, you've been a great audience!"

"I had money problems- forged fivers the wrong colour!"

A "half-life" is the time it takes for a quantity of a radioactive material to be cut in half by decay. In each successive half-life period, the quantity is halved again. Half-life length varies widely form element to element. Eating healthier is a common new year's resolution. Our data shows breaking this resolution follows a curve like those seen with nuclear decay. As of yesterday about ten percent of those who made the resolution this year are still sticking to it. We calculated the re

Liberals' Wishful Thinking about Joe Biden

"He doesn't have to worry about his preschool placement - he interviews well."

"The most common adverse vaccine reaction after the first dose is trying to get the second dose."

"75"

'The prisons are full, so I'm sentencing you to marry Rosie O'Donnell.'

Junior's switch to electronic chewing tobacco was short-lived.

Bureau of alcohol, tobacco, firearms and other neat stuff.

"I can't right now. My spurs are stuck together."

Born Cynical,,,,

'I sculpt what I see, Miss Delsey.'

Rocket charmer.

Self-Help Books / Fixing Others.

"His schlock has gravitas."

'I'm bored.'

TV SALES, 'Will the violence chip block out Chris Matthews'

"In my day we had trimphones."