Slice Of Life Humorists Gifts

'Don't you see Rick - your slump is just a success neurosis. You found your .394 average dangerous, because you fantasised that it would bring about resentment.'

"Tight......this isn't tight...now a New York City apartment......that's tight."

"I'm just a girl, standing in front of a buoy..."

"Here's something called "The Fifty Greatest Countdown Shows Ever!""

"We think it has something to do with your genome."

Peter

"Believe me when I tell you that I'm not that honest."

'I can validate both your feelings and your parking.'

"Hey samson, nice man bun."

'Looks like this part of the beach has been claimed.'

"Whoa. Check it out, Doug. Your ex-wife is sitting right below us with that dolt she ran off with..."

"'Burned out,' Parker?- I wasn't aware you ever even 'caught fire.'"

"My wife is about to have a baby, so I was wondering if you could make me work late for the next eighteen years or so."

'Henderson! Have you been drinking again?'

"On Monday, they will introduce a new office layout and you'll be near Judy, who isn't good at sharing her charger. . ."

"And that was my day at the office. Thanks, Alice, you've been a great audience!"

"He doesn't have to worry about his preschool placement - he interviews well."

"I had money problems- forged fivers the wrong colour!"

"The most common adverse vaccine reaction after the first dose is trying to get the second dose."

"I can't right now. My spurs are stuck together."

Bureau of alcohol, tobacco, firearms and other neat stuff.

'The prisons are full, so I'm sentencing you to marry Rosie O'Donnell.'

"75"

Born Cynical,,,,

Rocket charmer.

'I sculpt what I see, Miss Delsey.'

Self-Help Books / Fixing Others.

"His schlock has gravitas."

'I'm bored.'

"In my day we had trimphones."

Castle with parking lot.