Sleeper Extraordinaire Gifts

'How can I possibly be a discipline problem? I'm usually asleep.'

I took a vacation to forget everything and I forgot my luggage.

"I'm afraid the price would make him toss and turn all night for months!"

I know time is an earthly construct, but I still feel sleepy in the afternoons.

Shhh – I'm taking a virtual nap.

Snooze Alarm for Mole.

"I have to say, sleeping in a coffin is way better since I got the box spring."

'Oh, you nasty sluggard!'

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'I've been told I grind my teeth while I'm napping at work.'

Sleeping masks

"Not me, brother - you wake him!"

For goodness sake, can't you see I'm on a night shift!

"Tonight the covers stay on my side."

'Post-Hibernation Blues'

"Just two paragraphs from our internet provider's terms and conditions agreement and she was out like a light."

"Come on, Baldo...get up. It's twenty to eleven."

"This alarm clock is guaranteed to wake you. It's sounds like a husband snoring."

"Sorry - is my snoring driving you nuts?"

Sleepless Night with a Mosquito

An Excellent Excuse.

'I got rid of those funny little spots in front of my eyes. Now what's bugging me is a buzzing noise in my ears, like somebody sawing logs.'

'Get up or I'll send in gramma.'

"For a great day's sleep you can't beat out new line of memory foam coffins."

The Home Birth of Venus

"Could you stop making that breathing sound?"

Roughing it in the Great Outdoors.

"No more getting up and having to go to the kitchen for a midnight snack."

Cat Dreams

The Princess and the Pea

'I can't sleep a wink - it feels like someone's got their life savings under here.'

"I can't believe it...summer's almost over...time has slipped through my hands...life has passed me by."

"Wake up, blanket hog! You're having that burrito dream again!"

"It says, 'sorry ... I forgot you're three hours earlier out there'."

"I bought this mattress for you so you can sleep in the office when you're working overtime...hey! I was expecting you to be a bit more grateful, mister!"