Sleep Improvement Gifts

'Your lectures cured my sleep disorder.'

"That smart pillow must know you snore. It's wearing earmuffs."

"Worst sleeping lesson ever."

Hamlet and Ophelia discover Melatonin

Darth Vader advertises nasal strips.

Noisy energy?

Creative Insomnia

Insomniacs Anonymous - No Snoring

'I hate to admit it, but I counted sheep all night.'

When you get worried, and you can't sleep, count your blessings instead of sheep...

"We're talking about sleepless nights but all you can suggest is to 'Sleep on it'!"

When you get worried and you can't sleep. . .

"Did you sleep awkwardly again?"

"I think I need an extra pillow."

"I spend my day prepping for a good night"

"How's your insomnia?" "Bad, I can't even fall sleep during meetings."

"I'd like to get my hands on whoever coined the phrase 'sleeps like a baby'."

"It's been moved that we adjourn for an afternoon nap. Is there a second?"

Wordplay: Hibernation.

"According to this article, snoring can result in justifiable homicide."

"Try thinking about something else."

"I remember when we first met you were an exhausted young doctor! Now you're an exhausted middle-aged doctor!"

Bob invents a device that electrically shocks anyone who calls between 11 p.m. and 7 a.m.

"Damn! - I slept right through my afternoon nap today. . ."

"I'm not napping yet, but I am getting ready to with a pre-nap warm up."

'It's midnight, do you know where your brain is?'

'You've got to cure my sleepwalking, Doc - I keep falling into the moat!'

'Please leave the light on, dear. I'm afraid there might be OSHA inspectors under the bed.' 'Managers at Night.'

"Maybe we should have just had a baby..."

"Sorry I'm late. I overslept." "Is that even a real word?"

"Oh good, more time alone for quiet reflection."

'This one's good if you like to toss and turn all night.'

"Yours is adjustable?"

"You're hogging the covers again!"

"Well, if you're still awake when the time changes, you'll lose an hour of overthinking everything, too."