Sleep Hygiene Gifts

"Would you please turn that off and hibernate."

Charlie's medical advice always went in one ear and out the other.

"Did you sleep awkwardly again?"

"I think I need an extra pillow."

"I spend my day prepping for a good night"

"How's your insomnia?" "Bad, I can't even fall sleep during meetings."

"I'd like to get my hands on whoever coined the phrase 'sleeps like a baby'."

"It's been moved that we adjourn for an afternoon nap. Is there a second?"

"According to this article, snoring can result in justifiable homicide."

Wordplay: Hibernation.

"Try thinking about something else."

The Brothers Grime

Bob invents a device that electrically shocks anyone who calls between 11 p.m. and 7 a.m.

"I remember when we first met you were an exhausted young doctor! Now you're an exhausted middle-aged doctor!"

"My mom programmed my toothbrush to follow me until I use it. It's cruel but effective."

'It's midnight, do you know where your brain is?'

'You've got to cure my sleepwalking, Doc - I keep falling into the moat!'

'Please leave the light on, dear. I'm afraid there might be OSHA inspectors under the bed.' 'Managers at Night.'

"I'm not napping yet, but I am getting ready to with a pre-nap warm up."

"Maybe we should have just had a baby..."

"Damn! - I slept right through my afternoon nap today. . ."

"My monthly screen time went up from 62 hours to ‘Holy #@!*’."

"Sorry I'm late. I overslept." "Is that even a real word?"

'This one's good if you like to toss and turn all night.'

"You're hogging the covers again!"

"Well, if you're still awake when the time changes, you'll lose an hour of overthinking everything, too."

Sheep Ledger

"Yours is adjustable?"

A breakthrough in the morning meeting

"Now that we're into spring, we want to warn you that spring fever can be contagious..."

Broken Alarm Clock.

"I object!" "Overruled!"

"Time for bed, guys."

Mum and the Sleepless Baby

'Whaddya mean, 'Quit hogging the blanket'? There's a blanket in here?