Sleep Deprivation Champion Pillows

'How's your insomnia?' - 'Terrible, I can't even sleep when it's time to get up.'

Cry babies.

"I'm so good at this!"

"And remember, it's important to wake them up at hourly intervals."

"No doctor, my husband is not sleep-walking again. He is sleep-jumping!"

'What he lacks in intelligence he makes up for in stupidity.'

"The early bird may get the worm, but the late bird gets delicious table scraps."

Aging Sign # 23: you're dehydrated and yet up peeing all night.

Mattress makers picketing in front of factory are sleepwalking.

"I'll get you a drink of water, but next time, call Dad, not room service."

"Oh, I'm really sorry to hear that you're having trouble getting out of bed in the morning; you know we do have counsellors in the building if you feel you need support with that."

Number of times your kids will wake in the night/Amount you have to do tomorrow

'Your 'power nap' is somewhat undermined by Mr Cuddles.'

Humpty Dumpty using Egg timer as an Alarm clock.

Toddler in the bed: a journey

"He doesn't sleep, what can we possibly do?"

'Sixty eight seconds. Pretty weak, Dad.'

"Wake up Mrs. Jones. You're sleep shopping again."

Things my cat says at 3 am

"Sleeping through the night is for losers."

"Just go already!" "One could scarcely desire more delightful conditions for a nocturnal ramble..."

"I kept tossing and turning all winter!"

"There's a huge crowd of people on the lawn demanding that you stop snoring!"

'Sleep Disorder Research.'

"Listen, son...school is important and I expect...no I demand that you try your best. This family believes in the value of education, hard work, career success...and a good night's sleep."

'You really tossed and turned last night.'

Sleep walking can be hazardous!

"Go to sleep or someday important people will fail to notice you and you will die in tragic obscurity."

"Will you quit sleeping so goddamn peacefully!"

'I'm so tired: We have a newborn you see, and I was up half the day trying to get him to sleep...'