Sleep Champion Pillows

'Your 'power nap' is somewhat undermined by Mr Cuddles.'

"Listen, son...school is important and I expect...no I demand that you try your best. This family believes in the value of education, hard work, career success...and a good night's sleep."

'What he lacks in intelligence he makes up for in stupidity.'

"I'll get you a drink of water, but next time, call Dad, not room service."

"I spend my day prepping for a good night"

"I think I need an extra pillow."

Wordplay: Hibernation.

Bob invents a device that electrically shocks anyone who calls between 11 p.m. and 7 a.m.

"Maybe we should have just had a baby..."

'You've got to cure my sleepwalking, Doc - I keep falling into the moat!'

"I'll get up in negative five minutes."

A breakthrough in the morning meeting

Broken Alarm Clock.

'Okay. Time to get up. 1... 2... 3... Go!' - 'Actually, maybe I'll just rest my eyes for a few seconds.' - 'Zzzzz...'

Contented man and cat sleeping

'I'm a perfect little angel while I'm asleep. It's being awake that causes me trouble.'

'Don't take this the wrong way, Honey, but not only have I decided to hibernate this year, but I want to hibernate in the spare room...'

'I hate counting sheep. I get enough math at school.'

'Great! The world ended and I slept right through it!'

Baby zipping himself up then going to sleep

"What's with your hair?"

"I like to come prepared for meetings."

"I only drink decaf, otherwise I'm awake up to four hours a day."

"You were snoring."

"Let's go to sleep so that when we wake up today will be tomorrow."

'You know what they say Mum: The early bird catches the worm! So I'm sleeping in...'

'It's a soothing sounds machine. Spring Rain, Summer Breeze, and Fall School Bus.'

The next step in executive efficiency - Microsoft PowerNap.

There's a VERY SIMPLE EXPLANATION. I snore like an alarm clock and my wife mistook my nose for the snooze button.

"I know eight hours sleep a day is normal... but not at work!"

"We can watch anything you want, as long as I don't have to keep my eyes open."

"Well, NOW I can't sleep worrying about how much we spent on this high-tech mattress!"

'Was it the non-flying dream again?'

"Would you mind getting me the Ambien, the Tiger Balm, three cookies, a cup of tea and a pillow for my legs?"